00:00:00
There's like the the different types.
00:00:01
There's the helicopter parents, which are just all over the kids.
00:00:03
The kid trips.
00:00:04
They pick them up right away rather than like letting them kind of figure it out.
00:00:07
Then there's the dictator or like authoritarian, which is just like, y'all scream
00:00:11
spank, like, all the time, very, like, intense.
00:00:14
And then there's the vermin loving parent, right, which is they call it consultant, which
00:00:18
is like, Hey, like,
00:00:19
this is how we act.
00:00:20
That's you're you're wrong.
00:00:21
So there's gonna be a a consequence.
00:00:23
Let's talk about what you did wrong.
00:00:24
So we're sharing from this, right, and being very, like, present with that, like, teaching
00:00:28
moment.
00:00:29
Carl, and me.
00:00:30
Welcome to the podcast.
00:00:32
Thank you,
00:00:32
man.
00:00:32
Thanks for having me.
00:00:34
What's going on?
00:00:35
We're so excited to have you guys today.
00:00:36
Before the episode, we were talking a little bit about everything that could have been
00:00:39
podcast, but we're gonna talk about little content creation Mhmm.
00:00:45
Definitely focusing in kind of that avatar.
00:00:48
That was something where, nail it down, but in Mia, your your own kind of viral spectacle, on
00:00:54
social.
00:00:55
So we're gonna talk a little bit about that.
00:00:57
So we're super excited to have you guys in the podcast.
00:00:59
But, Carl, let us know a little about what you're up to these days.
00:01:01
And I know you're producing a lot of content.
00:01:03
Mhmm.
00:01:04
But just give us the 401 moment.
00:01:06
Yeah, man.
00:01:06
So thanks for having us.
00:01:07
This actually works out really Awesome.
00:01:09
We're down here in Tampa.
00:01:11
Her sister.
00:01:12
My older daughter has a national cheerleading competition.
00:01:14
So, her team is ranked 2nd in the country right now, which is crazy and wild.
00:01:19
Dude, it's it's nice.
00:01:21
And my demean my daughter's trained relentlessly.
00:01:25
And you can push them to train.
00:01:27
But at the end of the day as parents, we know it's like, they've gotta see results if you
00:01:31
want them to also keep doing it.
00:01:32
And you can't, I mean, you can't really, like, buy results.
00:01:34
You can't they have to actually have results.
00:01:37
So for my oldest for her team to have the success that they've had, but they've won all 6
00:01:41
national competitions they've had this so far this year.
00:01:43
And this is like the Super Bowl Nature World.
00:01:46
And so, like, them having a success, it's a lot easier being like, Hey, you're training.
00:01:50
Hey, you're doing this.
00:01:51
Hey, you're doing that because, like, they actually see, like, the fruits of their labor.
00:01:54
So we're down here for that, and I think one of the biggest pieces of advice off the top is,
00:01:58
you know, when you travel for stuff, like, reach out.
00:02:01
I was like, Hey, who's in Tampa?
00:02:03
Yeah.
00:02:03
I'm like, I've got a massive fall.
00:02:04
Like, who's in Tampa?
00:02:05
Matt was like, oh, dude, let's get together.
00:02:07
I never would have gone through my thing and been like, alright, let me go find everyone
00:02:10
gotta put it out there.
00:02:11
So we're down here for for cheerleading.
00:02:13
Between the cheer world and her soccer world, we are all over the East Coast.
00:02:18
And, you know, like when they got really craziness sports, I went from, you know, I've
00:02:24
got my MBA.
00:02:25
I sold software for 20 years.
00:02:27
And I was traveling 200 days a year.
00:02:29
And I don't wanna do that anymore.
00:02:31
With them in their sports and what they're doing, like, I'm, I'm a be there.
00:02:34
And so, I don't know, how long has it been, like, four and a half years now.
00:02:38
I switched gears completely and went into the content creation space.
00:02:42
So, like, I know technology.
00:02:43
I know platforms.
00:02:45
And, oh, yeah, I know all this stuff works.
00:02:47
I've been in this space for 20 years like, let's learn the video side of things.
00:02:51
And so we've been making content together for four and a half years now, and that's what we
00:02:55
do.
00:02:55
I shoot content for my clients I post our life on social media.
00:02:59
You can follow us.
00:03:00
We're really easy to find because I'm the only Carl Eppolito that actually exists in the
00:03:04
world.
00:03:04
So I'm the easiest guy to find I it's like Wonderful.
00:03:08
Yeah.
00:03:09
For better, for worse.
00:03:10
Like, you need to find something out about me.
00:03:12
You can put it in Google and probably find it.
00:03:14
I've actually done that.
00:03:14
I went on Facebook and put it all, like, like, Matt Tack.
00:03:17
It ain't Matias Tack.
00:03:19
Matt Tack.
00:03:20
There was, like, 262.
00:03:21
No, man.
00:03:23
That's impressive, Carlita,
00:03:24
all the Just me.
00:03:27
And that's what we do.
00:03:28
We share a lot of our life.
00:03:30
A lot of it's, I mean, insanely transparent, our training, our faith is really big.
00:03:35
We share a lot of that.
00:03:37
And, I share it with my daughters, which is probably the one thing I wanna do the most in
00:03:42
life.
00:03:42
That's amazing, man.
00:03:43
I'm a girl dad too, so I understand respect to these girls out here.
00:03:48
Mia, tell us about yourself.
00:03:50
What are you working on nowadays?
00:03:52
So I'm normally, like, always busy with soccer.
00:03:56
And so today, I would normally have had soccer practice and and tomorrow, but, we, me and my
00:04:05
sister, we always come out to support each other wherever it is But if our things are at
00:04:11
the same exact time and say mine is really, really, really big, like this is really big for
00:04:18
her.
00:04:19
And if I didn't, if she didn't have something that's as big, and, like, I only have soccer
00:04:25
practice, but she has, like, this huge cheer competition.
00:04:28
I would miss mine for her, but for soccer for me, she would come to my thing.
00:04:33
Me and my sister have really close love with each other, even though sometimes we can
00:04:39
disagree on some things and but when we get older, me and my sister are having a ice cream
00:04:46
sort.
00:04:46
And so me and my sister are really working on everything.
00:04:51
And I like shooting content with my dad I wanna be a videographer and a photographer.
00:04:59
So I normally do and edit things with my dad.
00:05:05
I also make suit.
00:05:08
I make cool photos.
00:05:11
I'll take a photo of, like, just something that's boring, and then I, I'll, like, edit it.
00:05:17
And I, I can, like, put it as a different filter.
00:05:23
I can do all that stuff because I look at what my dad does, but We always put faith first.
00:05:30
We always follow God and do everything that god has planned for us.
00:05:37
And so we always make sure we have our school done.
00:05:40
We have our reading done.
00:05:42
And then we can do our soccer, or I can do my talk her.
00:05:46
She does her cheer.
00:05:47
We then can do what we would like to do, but first, we have to do.
00:05:52
We have to do what we have to do to do what we want to do.
00:05:55
My dad told me that since day 1 that I've been doing soccer.
00:06:00
We always put our heads towards our goals, and we always work for our goals.
00:06:06
That's one thing that we do in our family, and we have 3 really main rules, love kindness and
00:06:13
respect.
00:06:13
It's respect, ness to everybody, and it's loving and kindness that god would want us to
00:06:22
do, and we glorify him and do everything that he does.
00:06:26
We pray a lot.
00:06:27
We do a lot of things in his name, and we make sure that if We have a bad moment.
00:06:36
We don't ruin that.
00:06:37
We don't make that ruin our day or that night or the next day.
00:06:41
We just always look forward.
00:06:43
I love that.
00:06:45
That is fire.
00:06:46
Drop the mind.
00:06:46
Yeah.
00:06:46
If you wanna go to Ken, we'll just have to do her.
00:06:48
Like
00:06:49
No.
00:06:50
That was rehearsed.
00:06:51
I'm like, that's just
00:06:52
Yeah.
00:06:52
That's awesome, man.
00:06:53
Definitely.
00:06:54
She she
00:06:55
gets it, man.
00:06:55
Holy cow.
00:06:56
That's it.
00:06:57
I mean, that's all about that level of discipline, right, just building that
00:07:00
discipline in early.
00:07:01
And you know what, is really cool?
00:07:03
And it's something that, we I feel like sometimes as parents, and, obviously, you're
00:07:08
doing an incredible job.
00:07:10
But, like, how we forge that bond as a family unit.
00:07:13
Instead of, like, yeah, you go here and you go here, one really cool thing you said is, you
00:07:17
know, I can take a break from what I'm really good at to go support my sister.
00:07:22
And that's super imperative in terms of, like, that level of empowering your sister.
00:07:27
Because although I your sister's older than you.
00:07:29
Right?
00:07:29
Yes.
00:07:30
So she's your older sister.
00:07:31
You know, one cool thing is that you're a leader.
00:07:34
You're a leader and you lead your sister just like your sister leads you, that comes in
00:07:39
parallel.
00:07:40
So that's awesome that you're like, you know what?
00:07:43
A lead.
00:07:43
I'm gonna show my friends that I can support my sister.
00:07:46
I love that, and that you take your face so seriously.
00:07:49
So that I I we keep do we wanna end the podcast, or do I keep going here?
00:07:54
Yeah.
00:07:55
Yeah.
00:07:55
You know, it's I don't the The piece about their bond that's so special, it's really hard
00:08:01
for me to explain because I don't wish it on anybody.
00:08:03
And what I mean by that is they it was actually a month before their second and 4th birthdays
00:08:08
when their mom and I split.
00:08:10
And so they've been going between 2 houses for 7 years now.
00:08:15
And especially those very, very early years, like, all they had was each other.
00:08:19
It was, it was them going between two houses, you know, 2 and 4 trying to figure out, like,
00:08:27
this is just dad, and this is just mom, and what's happening.
00:08:29
And so they just had each other.
00:08:32
And that bond, it's like, it's so weird to talk about because I'm I'm obviously so proud of it.
00:08:39
I'm, I, I wish that I think every sister needs a sister, but I also don't wish it on anyone
00:08:45
the way that they formed it.
00:08:46
That makes sense.
00:08:47
I mean, I get it.
00:08:48
Yeah.
00:08:48
And it's turned into this incredible thing where she does.
00:08:53
I mean, unless if they both have a game and they both have a competition that's separate,
00:08:58
But, like, they are front and center, like, so if our older sister does not miss a soccer
00:09:03
game, and or a basketball game.
00:09:06
And if they're early in the morning and isn't like, hey, like, you get to sleep in, like, no,
00:09:10
like, you will be there.
00:09:11
And, I mean, in conversely, like, she will be the loudest person that arena tonight for sure.
00:09:18
They also the other side is if if things don't go as planned, you know, and you have a loss or
00:09:23
you have, a setback, you know, she's the first one given a hug.
00:09:27
I did all the times where, like, soap might be like, I just want Mia.
00:09:31
I'm like, that's what's up.
00:09:32
Because, like, I, you know, God willing, you know, I'm here till 120.
00:09:35
Yeah.
00:09:36
But, like, they're gonna outlive me and they're gonna have each other.
00:09:39
And, she was talking about the ice cream thing.
00:09:42
So what's the name of your ice cream store?
00:09:44
So we are going to have the ice cream store.
00:09:48
It's called sprinkle explosion, and we are going to have it in Temecula, California.
00:09:51
Let's wrap her up.
00:09:58
Like, that's very
00:09:59
tough to say.
00:10:00
I was
00:10:00
like, no.
00:10:02
So they come to me and they're like, they go, dad, you know, after her college, would it be
00:10:08
cool if we moved to California?
00:10:11
Like that.
00:10:11
Yeah.
00:10:12
What's up?
00:10:12
Like, yeah.
00:10:13
I'm I'm in.
00:10:13
Let's go.
00:10:14
We have, like, we have, like, a little thing.
00:10:16
It's like, hey, wherever you go, I go.
00:10:17
It's like, we're in.
00:10:18
Yeah.
00:10:19
And I'm like, why?
00:10:20
And they were like, would you be okay if we open an ice cream shop?
00:10:24
And I'm thinking of myself, like, let's go.
00:10:26
Like, why are you waiting until college?
00:10:27
Like, let's Yeah.
00:10:28
Like, let's go.
00:10:29
They have, like, this whole business plan taught out.
00:10:31
Like, so how how is ice cream gonna be like me?
00:10:34
Like, what's the
00:10:35
So
00:10:35
what's the secret sauce?
00:10:36
I actually learned
00:10:36
it in
00:10:40
school that all of the ice cream, it actually starts from a dairy farm.
00:10:46
And so this summer, we were, actually going to go to a dairy farm because my dad's friend
00:10:53
actually
00:10:54
Shout out Ben Wilson up in Michigan, the dairy farm.
00:10:57
The dairy farm has been passed on for generations, and it's his.
00:11:00
And so we were gonna go down there, and I actually learned that it all him from a dairy
00:11:05
farm.
00:11:06
And so what you do is you put these machines and you take all the milk from a cow, and then
00:11:12
you package it up and you send it to this place.
00:11:16
And that's where all the process of the ice cream is being made.
00:11:21
And so they take the dairy farm, the milk, and they did put it in with all different flavors.
00:11:29
And me and my sister, we actually wanna make more different flavors because we wanna make
00:11:36
sure that every customer gets what they want
00:11:38
obviously wanna add sprinkles too.
00:11:40
Right?
00:11:41
Yeah.
00:11:41
So we're if they
00:11:43
She's very processed.
00:11:44
Oh, is this so funny with
00:11:45
She's already got her sourcing down.
00:11:47
So Her sister is, like, her sister is the Paul officer.
00:11:50
Right?
00:11:51
So soaps like, alright.
00:11:53
So we want ice cream it has, like, whatever you're you're added of it as a sprinkle is
00:11:57
actually in, like, it's almost like a surprise.
00:11:59
It gets in the ice cream.
00:12:00
It's not like topping.
00:12:01
Like, it's everything's a part of the actual ice cream.
00:12:04
And it's
00:12:05
so it isn't like cookie dough flavored.
00:12:06
It's cookie dough ice cream, but I want, like, this I want the stuff in it like, actually,
00:12:11
like, part of this whole experience.
00:12:14
I actually, I know exactly what she's talking about, and I actually prefer that it in the ice
00:12:20
cream.
00:12:21
Like, I've tasted that.
00:12:22
I know what you mean.
00:12:23
So we were act we, are actually gonna make this Franco explosion special And so it would kind
00:12:31
of be like a gelato, but where the ice cream would be, like, on the inside, in the middle of
00:12:37
the water ice, right there would just have, like, a scoop of sprinkles.
00:12:43
And with, whipped cream around it, to act like it's the ice cream, but it isn't the ice cream.
00:12:49
It's a bunch of sprinkles and whipped cream.
00:12:51
And it's kind of like
00:12:53
It's a whole experience.
00:12:54
Yeah.
00:12:54
It's kind of like a big surprise of
00:12:58
It's sort of sprinkles.
00:12:59
It's
00:12:59
so funny, man.
00:13:00
Like, it really, watching them go through this has been, another awesome teaching moment
00:13:05
though, because sports don't, they don't, obviously they don't last It's like, our big
00:13:09
thing in the house with sports is you become very dedicated to something.
00:13:13
And then, it's all the lessons that we learn that come from the actual words.
00:13:18
Right.
00:13:18
You know, I look, if you play in college, that's awesome.
00:13:21
Right?
00:13:22
The what are you gonna do at 30 in soccer?
00:13:25
Nothing.
00:13:26
Right?
00:13:26
Maybe train, maybe whatever.
00:13:28
Such a small percentage.
00:13:29
Got it.
00:13:29
Yeah.
00:13:29
Perfect.
00:13:29
But even that.
00:13:30
Right.
00:13:30
We're talking like football baseball basketball hockey make money.
00:13:33
How old is?
00:13:34
Yeah.
00:13:35
Doesn't even matter.
00:13:36
What how old was she when she retired Carley Wood?
00:13:39
Is that, is that right?
00:13:40
Yeah.
00:13:40
So she's actually from.
00:13:41
It's funny.
00:13:42
So she's from where we live.
00:13:43
Nead, New Jersey.
00:13:44
Yeah.
00:13:44
But even her, right?
00:13:45
Like, the only reason car I mean, the only reason Carly Lloyd makes money right now is
00:13:49
branding Yeah.
00:13:50
Advertising.
00:13:51
Right?
00:13:51
Yeah.
00:13:52
Her actual name image of lightness.
00:13:53
Right?
00:13:53
Like, her branding makes her more money than anything else.
00:13:56
Right.
00:13:57
So my point is that it's all the things that they're gonna learn between now 18 now in 22.
00:14:04
And they brought this idea to me.
00:14:06
You also learned what's broken in the school system very quickly.
00:14:09
Like, we don't do homework in the house.
00:14:11
I'm like, guilt.
00:14:12
Like, I don't bring my dirty dishes to school and ask you to clean them.
00:14:15
Right?
00:14:15
So, like, so I got my kids for 8 hours.
00:14:17
I mean,
00:14:17
that was just talking about schooling earlier.
00:14:18
We can go ahead and talk about Yeah.
00:14:20
I mean, they go to they go to private Catholic school.
00:14:22
I go to a non denominational Christian church, but it's for the structure of, like, what's in
00:14:27
and not in school.
00:14:28
So I'm super pro that.
00:14:30
And then outside of it, Patrick Bed David has a great thing where reading is currency in their
00:14:35
house.
00:14:36
And I was, like, taking that one.
00:14:38
That's great.
00:14:39
So they gotta read.
00:14:39
How many pages a week do you have to read?
00:14:41
So a week is 70 as the entire week, but just Monday to Friday at the end of the entire
00:14:49
school week with via 3rd 50 a week.
00:14:51
Right.
00:14:51
Hi, average.
00:14:52
If you have a day where you get you get behind, to catch up.
00:14:54
You gotta catch up.
00:14:54
Some days, if you have more time on your hands, like, they're learning all about, like, the
00:14:57
accountability aspect.
00:14:58
They've had days or 100 shirts like Sunday and I'm like, yo, you have 35 pages, get after it.
00:15:02
It's on you.
00:15:03
So we've learned those kinds of things, but what's been really fun, what I've learned is
00:15:07
I'm like, we talked about it last night.
00:15:10
Right?
00:15:10
So If you sell ice cream for five bucks, what's that number called?
00:15:14
Your top line revenue.
00:15:15
Right.
00:15:16
Right?
00:15:16
So then if you cost $2, That's your cost and what's 5 -2.
00:15:21
3.
00:15:22
And that's your
00:15:22
Perfect.
00:15:23
There you go.
00:15:24
So we did all of our way.
00:15:25
We were doing, like, the whole profit analysis.
00:15:27
We're doing cost know, analysis.
00:15:28
And I'm like, they don't learn.
00:15:29
What are you gonna learn this?
00:15:35
If you wanna hear your question answered live on the show, submit it to ask at fullfuel.com,
00:15:42
check out the optimizers program where we build muscle, improve longevity, and get guys
00:15:46
freaking shredded so that they can crush it at life for as long as possible.
00:15:55
That's not the whole take on on the school system is, like, you're learning all these.
00:15:59
I hate to even maybe we'll just go here.
00:16:02
You're learning all these things that somehow they kinda don't matter.
00:16:05
Like, a lot of the the mathematics that you learn nowadays do, I gotta calculator in my
00:16:08
pocket.
00:16:08
I can do most of that stuff.
00:16:10
I can Google it.
00:16:11
Right?
00:16:11
My take is that kids should be learning nutrition.
00:16:13
Kids should be learning how to live healthy life, finances, and economics, which, like, I
00:16:17
got none of until, like, high school.
00:16:19
Right?
00:16:19
And then you're supposed to go out and, like, try to, you know, and then even through, like,
00:16:23
college and and and, graduate school, man, is, like, not much of that.
00:16:27
Right?
00:16:27
You're so specialized.
00:16:28
I'll specialize contract medicine and extra science.
00:16:30
And it's like, now, how do I monetize this?
00:16:32
Right?
00:16:33
So then, like, a lot of it was, like, learning it on my own, make rating learning.
00:16:36
So I agree with you.
00:16:38
My boy, Scott Donald, shout out Scott Donald.
00:16:40
Duke did.
00:16:41
He's an absolute monster, but he just started, He's, like, disrupting that industry right now.
00:16:46
He has this app called gravy stack.
00:16:48
And so we're using that.
00:16:50
And then he has, the conversation center.
00:16:52
It's called dinner table.
00:16:54
For kids, he starts them really at six years old, but you teach him earlier.
00:16:58
So you start, like, kind of, like, having those foundational educational trainings.
00:17:01
And then at 6 is when they he gamifies the system.
00:17:05
And so they're understanding what top line revenue is.
00:17:07
So what we do in our house is, like, if they, if they want something, which is considered a
00:17:13
liability to watch something, well, did you read 3 books you can earn money for reading
00:17:19
your books.
00:17:20
But then as soon as you choose to, like, take your iPad, which you can take your iPad, I'm I
00:17:25
want you to, like, have that decision making power, because, like, decision making is a good
00:17:29
thing too, for sure, to, like, educate them on.
00:17:32
But that is gonna cost you $2 You know what I mean?
00:17:35
Yeah.
00:17:35
Yeah.
00:17:35
And so then they're like, oh, alright.
00:17:38
Maybe I'll read a few more books.
00:17:40
Or, like, we do, like, educational, like, if they're on YouTube and they can do something in
00:17:47
math or whatever, they they have a lot of things online through school too.
00:17:50
We have them a little bit, and I 100% agree with you, kind of, like, on the homework piece,
00:17:55
because when our kids come home, they're in a language immersion program.
00:18:00
So they're learning Spanish
00:18:01
And
00:18:02
so when they come home, we're speaking English, which I try to say, like, I'm learning Spanish
00:18:06
too, but, like, their mind is, like, fried.
00:18:10
For sure.
00:18:10
Absolutely fried in my 8 hours life before.
00:18:15
So I get that, like, that decompression, but, like, finance is such a big thing and to talk
00:18:20
about money.
00:18:20
Like, we don't we wanna stray away from money.
00:18:22
It's like, we were even talking about this.
00:18:24
Like, no, we're gonna be forward with this.
00:18:26
We're
00:18:26
gonna talk about financial literacy and how that works and how an eight year old, like, you
00:18:32
asked before this, talk to her like she's a person.
00:18:35
Like, she's like an eight year old.
00:18:37
Right?
00:18:37
We don't need to talk down.
00:18:39
She can she'll learn.
00:18:40
She knows what top line revenue.
00:18:42
She just hogs are and what you're getting.
00:18:45
Many guess we've had on our show.
00:18:46
You know what I mean?
00:18:47
Like, she yeah.
00:18:48
Yeah.
00:18:48
I agree, man.
00:18:49
100%.
00:18:49
There's a
00:18:49
lot of psychology behind that between the parent child relationship.
00:18:53
I want them to respect authority I also don't want them to never fear a man or anybody.
00:18:57
I want them to fear a thought of them to respect authority.
00:19:00
We talk a lot of times eye to eye.
00:19:01
I don't want them to look at people talking down on them and made the making decisions
00:19:07
based on being talked down to or talked, you know, everything's eye to eye.
00:19:11
Every all the rules in our house are exactly the same.
00:19:15
Right?
00:19:15
So they don't they're not allowed to yell in, but I'm also not allowed to yell.
00:19:20
And the big lesson there is, like, you're not, you're not responsible for other people's
00:19:24
actions.
00:19:24
It's not like, well, you made me yell.
00:19:26
Well, that isn't, that doesn't make my yelling.
00:19:29
Right.
00:19:29
Okay.
00:19:29
Yeah.
00:19:30
And I'm not perfect.
00:19:31
Right.
00:19:31
Right.
00:19:31
So when I, yeah, you're quick on that one.
00:19:34
Like, But if I yell, even if there's something wrong and I yell, what do I have to do?
00:19:40
We, you apologize.
00:19:42
No matter what, right?
00:19:43
Cause I yell that I'm responsible for those I also have to do what else.
00:19:48
If we step out of line 50 plus.
00:19:50
Yeah.
00:19:50
Well, worse than that,
00:19:52
It's so in our backyard.
00:19:54
We have this hill, and we have to do 25 of those.
00:19:57
And 25.
00:20:00
And it's really not that fun.
00:20:03
Sounds not that fun.
00:20:04
It's not fun.
00:20:06
Yeah.
00:20:06
That's how you that makes you don't wanna do it.
00:20:08
So we just we have an elementary like, right behind our house, and there's a red bench,
00:20:13
like, up against the wall of the school.
00:20:15
And there is a, It's a gradual hill, and the last ten yards is not fun.
00:20:22
Yeah.
00:20:23
And they gotta run from like the tree to that red bench.
00:20:26
I I tell you what, when they're older, they will never sit on a red bench.
00:20:29
It'll be, like, it'll be definitely, I'm definitely unfortunately installing some trauma
00:20:33
with red benches a 100%.
00:20:35
But it is a down and back.
00:20:37
You cannot stop to get a drink of water until you do how many?
00:20:40
5.
00:20:41
5.
00:20:42
Like, it is not a fun experience.
00:20:44
And what I learned was that, 1, I think, like, languages on me, I can think of a 1000 better
00:20:50
words then what the is your problem?
00:20:53
Right.
00:20:53
Like, there's I have a 1000 options better than that one.
00:20:56
But I'm human.
00:20:56
If I slip, that curse word, That's at least 10 to 15 for me on those sprints.
00:21:03
But one of the big lessons in our houses, if your emotions win,
00:21:06
we lose.
00:21:07
Right.
00:21:07
If you have motions when you lose, that's it's in everything.
00:21:11
And the minute that that happens, like those consequences.
00:21:14
And what I rather than learn is the consequence of 25 sprints is so much easier than the
00:21:20
consequence of a lost relationship.
00:21:22
Yeah.
00:21:22
A lost client, a lost.
00:21:24
I mean, like, our consequences only get bigger.
00:21:27
And they don't know that yet, obviously.
00:21:29
So they can learn through experience, which sucks.
00:21:31
Yeah.
00:21:31
Or they can learn with hating a red bench.
00:21:34
I would just much rather than hate a red bench.
00:21:36
And hopefully as they get older, we're all gonna slip.
00:21:40
But binding your tongue once.
00:21:42
And I think the pandemic probably taught a lot of people a lot of lessons.
00:21:46
A lot of people had views on certain things.
00:21:49
I know I had my views for sure, and you didn't view the pandemic the way that I viewed it.
00:21:56
You were happy to tell me that you didn't do it the way that I viewed it.
00:21:59
And I I I look back on it, and I'm glad that I know where a lot of people stay in life.
00:22:03
Sure.
00:22:03
But I also am like, Don't you wish that, like, we could probably hang out now?
00:22:09
Like, don't you wish that, like, that bridge is broken?
00:22:12
Yeah.
00:22:13
It was such
00:22:13
a weird thing that, like, like, like, friends where all of a sudden, like, oh, you think
00:22:18
that, like, we're not friends.
00:22:19
It was so For sure.
00:22:20
It was such a weird, and that was the goal.
00:22:22
The whole thing was device.
00:22:23
Divide.
00:22:24
Right?
00:22:24
Look, the the media really pushed that man, like, trying to, like, split people up for
00:22:28
sure.
00:22:28
It broke up family.
00:22:29
I mean, like, families.
00:22:30
Yeah.
00:22:31
It got in the middle of.
00:22:33
And so, I'm like, yeah, like, if your emotions win, you lose, on the athletic field for sure.
00:22:39
And so, no, that, that dad home hill.
00:22:43
It's super real.
00:22:44
And the other thing, the other big, big rule we have is is where are the 2 rules in soccer
00:22:48
again?
00:22:49
Work fast and play hard.
00:22:50
That's it.
00:22:51
I don't care how many goals you score.
00:22:52
You can score 3 goals.
00:22:54
I'm like, give you chasing results.
00:22:56
Yeah.
00:22:56
That's gonna happen.
00:22:58
If you exhaust yourself and she's coming from games, I'm like, did you exhaust yourself?
00:23:01
And she'll be like, I could have played a little harder.
00:23:03
I'm like, why didn't this waste my Saturday?
00:23:05
And Sophie didn't this waste her Saturday.
00:23:07
So go in the backyard.
00:23:08
One way or another, you will be exhausted.
00:23:10
You have a choice you're gonna exhaust it on that field, or you're gonna exhaust it in the
00:23:13
backyard.
00:23:14
Like, I, I don't care.
00:23:15
Yeah.
00:23:16
Get it out.
00:23:16
Yeah.
00:23:17
1, you have, this is super up to you.
00:23:19
And there's definitely been days where, like, after your game, if I say keep the cleats on?
00:23:23
Yes.
00:23:24
You've had you've kept them on.
00:23:25
And then there's been days where you haven't scored at all.
00:23:27
I've asked you, did you run fast and play hard?
00:23:29
You know, what did you say?
00:23:30
Yes.
00:23:31
And how
00:23:32
does it feel when you exhaust yourself and lose?
00:23:35
Like, you feel like, man, I gave it my all, right?
00:23:37
But when you don't exhaust yourself and lose and you're like, dang, I could have tried a
00:23:40
little harder.
00:23:41
I feeling hurts a little bit more, right?
00:23:42
Yes.
00:23:43
I've been there, man.
00:23:44
And you're like, gosh, if I woulda just hustled on that last play, maybe that wouldn't have
00:23:47
happened, you know, and then you kinda eat yourself up.
00:23:49
But if you're like, dude, I did everything I could.
00:23:51
I put it all out there and we lost.
00:23:53
It's okay.
00:23:54
Like lost, right, lose losing happens.
00:23:56
I love that the way.
00:23:57
That's awesome.
00:23:58
Yeah.
00:23:58
Definitely, it's still, it's some, warrior mentality in these girls.
00:24:00
Have you, have you seen those books the way the Warrior kid by Jocko?
00:24:03
I have.
00:24:04
Yeah.
00:24:04
I haven't read them yet.
00:24:05
I I'm actually reading them.
00:24:07
I'm on the second book.
00:24:08
And so the first book was about hard work and because, this boy Mark he's like the main
00:24:18
character.
00:24:19
And so what happened was, I'll ask
00:24:22
that a school, there's
00:24:22
always these activities and one that is pull ups.
00:24:28
He can't do any, though.
00:24:29
He was he's turned doing pull ups, and there was this big Bolly Kenny Wilms.
00:24:31
And, and so, What happened was they all count and watch everybody.
00:24:41
And Kenny new Ferrant Square.
00:24:44
He couldn't do any because he's like the big bully.
00:24:48
And so he's the one who made him try, at least, to do the pull ups, and made him do the pull
00:24:54
ups.
00:24:54
When he counted, he, Mark, was trying very, very, very hard to at least get 1, but he
00:25:01
caught in.
00:25:02
And, Kenny just kept on, shouting like 0, big, fat, 0.
00:25:09
And then through the entire summer, his
00:25:11
uncle Jake came, and he's a navy seal.
00:25:11
And so he trained him and
00:25:11
pushed him every single day, every morning workout.
00:25:21
His goal was to get 10.
00:25:23
Halfway through the summer, he actually he got 1.
00:25:26
And then it was a long one.
00:25:28
And his uncle Jake, and he also didn't know how to swim.
00:25:31
And every year, they would have a field trip to this lake.
00:25:34
He can't swim, and everybody
00:25:34
would get to go in the lake and it was so hot out.
00:25:40
And so he'd rather be in the lake than just on the sand on beach chair And so they went out to
00:25:48
the lake every day and trained for at least 2 hours.
00:25:52
And by the end of the summer, He was going to jump off his very high bridge.
00:25:57
He jumped off
00:25:57
the bridge, and then he accomplished what he wanted he needed to do.
00:26:03
And he said that, that felt amazing that I accomplished this.
00:26:07
And so what they talked about in the first book was discipline.
00:26:16
And so it's all about hard work And every day, if
00:26:21
you're it's a different right.
00:26:21
And if there's a difference
00:26:21
between getting and earn if you just get what you always want, you'll never actually know
00:26:34
what it is to work hard.
00:26:34
And so Mark was kind of like he was just getting everything, and then his uncle Jake
00:26:44
came, and he was learned And so he got pushed so hard every day.
00:26:52
And now I'm reading the second book, and he can do
00:26:56
what's his second book about, though?
00:26:58
So it's called March Mission, and there's new bully, because in the last book, he fixed Kenny
00:27:05
Wilms problems with being a bully, because he actually stood out to him on the 1st day, 6th
00:27:11
grade.
00:27:12
I started it Last week, I'm on page 80, no, 90.
00:27:18
Well, you should be because you gotta get 7 pages.
00:27:22
Oh god.
00:27:23
And so
00:27:23
just doing a mathematical math.
00:27:25
I saw that.
00:27:26
And it's saying what's about emotions.
00:27:27
Right?
00:27:28
Right.
00:27:28
It's keeping your emotions
00:27:30
so the book is good job.
00:27:32
Good summary.
00:27:32
Thank you.
00:27:33
I've heard about the books before, and then she read Tim Tivo has an autobiography for kids.
00:27:39
Cool.
00:27:39
Which is amazing.
00:27:40
Highly recommend.
00:27:41
Okay.
00:27:41
I try to get rid of that Mia Ham has a book like the great soccer player.
00:27:44
Yeah.
00:27:44
And her
00:27:45
name is Mia.
00:27:45
And in both number 9, thought she'd be all about this book.
00:27:48
She just didn't get into it.
00:27:50
Like, I I don't I'm like, dude, and then if she, like, misses her day, I'm like, start
00:27:54
over.
00:27:55
I'm like, if you can't, if you can't do what you just did and, like, tell me the story, I
00:27:58
can tell.
00:27:59
You didn't read it.
00:28:00
So, it's just not clicking.
00:28:01
She gets a Tim Tivo book, flies through it.
00:28:03
Check, oh, did you know his dad, his parents were missionaries?
00:28:05
And, like, he was born on a mission, and she's telling me, I'm like, clearly, you read the
00:28:09
book.
00:28:09
Yeah.
00:28:10
Like, you know, and she's like, jot our address is 316.
00:28:14
And she's like, dad, your middle name is John, and John 316, and he wears 316.
00:28:19
And So, I find these way to wear her kid books.
00:28:22
She flies to the first one.
00:28:23
Obviously, knows exactly what happened.
00:28:24
She's halfway to the second one.
00:28:26
And, she's like quoting different things.
00:28:29
It's like, oh, if your emotions win you lose, talks about emotion, controlling the emotion,
00:28:33
earning everything in discipline.
00:28:34
I'm like, did think something somebody reinforced, thankfully, by just dad beating
00:28:39
this into them.
00:28:39
Yeah.
00:28:41
But, yeah, finding books that, like, your kids cannot, I grab a hold of, wild difference.
00:28:46
Huge change.
00:28:47
Yeah.
00:28:47
And so his mom, her brother was his uncle Jake.
00:28:53
And so when Mark's mom found out that they were doing all this stuff, she stopped giving him
00:29:03
everything that he just wanted.
00:29:05
And she threw out all the junk stuff in her pantry and in her fridge, whatever.
00:29:14
And she's like, I just went to the grocery store, and I have no junk.
00:29:21
From now on, Mark, you're going to be just eating healthy for the entire summer.
00:29:27
At first, Mark, he was not happy, but He learned what it took with discipline, and
00:29:35
everything about hard work, and He got inspired by his uncle Jake.
00:29:43
And so what happened was he has been feeling amazing, Mark, because he has been
00:29:52
accomplishing things because he knows how he worked hard.
00:29:55
And now in the second book, it's about keeping your emotions in check.
00:30:00
And so Nathan, he's making him wanna just, like, lose his emotions, making him turn all
00:30:06
red, and he did that twice.
00:30:08
And so the first time he did that, he was on the last day of school, and he got sent home
00:30:15
from the principal's office because he threw a pumpkin.
00:30:20
It wasn't it had it didn't have, like, seeds in it.
00:30:23
So what because people were, like, painting them.
00:30:25
And so it wasn't one of those, like, really hard ones.
00:30:29
It was a small one too.
00:30:30
And so He threw one at Nathan's head, and he's a teacher.
00:30:40
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00:31:09
today.
00:31:13
Oh.
00:31:14
Inbound, some of his face hit the teacher.
00:31:16
And so he had sent to the principal's office.
00:31:19
And
00:31:20
It's Timular.
00:31:21
That was bumping, though.
00:31:22
I was trying to hit a friend and up through up.
00:31:24
Like, it was, little paper ball.
00:31:26
He dunked and it hit the teacher and
00:31:27
got sent out to the
00:31:28
person for a quick way
00:31:30
of that happening.
00:31:31
I tell you, but, no, I said, man, finding things that, like, can reinforce.
00:31:34
So it's not just like, this is dad stuff.
00:31:36
Yeah.
00:31:36
This is dad's, whatever.
00:31:37
Yeah.
00:31:38
Me and I it's like a cheat code.
00:31:40
Absolutely.
00:31:40
I cleaned the pantry out, I'm like, yeah, we have a super lean house, and it's not any fun.
00:31:45
Like going through mom's house is way more fun than probably being in our house for, like, all
00:31:49
the snacks.
00:31:50
And then, like, the book has snack, the book doesn't have snacks anymore.
00:31:53
She's like, well, the book doesn't have snacks.
00:31:55
Maybe it's great that that we don't have snacks.
00:31:57
I'm, yeah, I'm pretty strict with my kids too.
00:31:59
And, like, man, I've been going through this book called Raising Mentally Strong Kids,
00:32:03
Doctor Daniel Eamon, and he's a child psych just Yeah.
00:32:06
Kind of blending the psychiatry with the neurobiology and how Wait.
00:32:09
It's a white put to white cover, and it has I actually just saw this book.
00:32:13
Really good book.
00:32:13
That's really
00:32:14
interesting.
00:32:14
Highly recommended because my kids I
00:32:16
was on a date at Starbucks, and she is a coach, and that was the book she picked out.
00:32:21
Okay.
00:32:21
That's hilarious.
00:32:22
Yeah.
00:32:22
No.
00:32:22
Really good, man.
00:32:23
And it's, you know, it's just like kids are reinforced by the way we respond.
00:32:27
And So, like, you know, I'd say my early parenting years, I have twin twin boys.
00:32:31
They were born 8 weeks early, so their preemie, they were colicky.
00:32:34
It was so much anxiety around being a dad, man, because I was working and then coming home to
00:32:38
screaming, baby.
00:32:39
So, like, my response has always been very, like, edgy.
00:32:42
And they pick up on that.
00:32:44
And so, like, I've had to totally tone it down and change it.
00:32:46
Now it's like when I hear them complain or whine about something, or they they're at the
00:32:51
age of three.
00:32:52
They start to argue with me.
00:32:53
A little bit.
00:32:54
And I'm like, no.
00:32:55
Rule number 1, we don't argue.
00:32:57
K.
00:32:57
We're gonna figure out what's going on.
00:32:59
What's the problem?
00:33:00
Right?
00:33:00
And it's, oh, he took my car.
00:33:02
There's 20 other cars right there.
00:33:04
You guys have enough Right?
00:33:05
We're not gonna
00:33:05
fight over these stupid cards or the cards are gonna go away.
00:33:08
Right?
00:33:08
And so, like, as soon as I say that, they're like, there you go.
00:33:10
And they problem solved.
00:33:12
Right?
00:33:12
So it's like keeping my composure whereas, like, you know, like, transparently, I grew up
00:33:16
where it was a lot of Italian household.
00:33:18
My dad was kinda quicker to, like, yell, and it was like, he got involved.
00:33:21
Everyone was like, well, shit.
00:33:22
Pops and ball.
00:33:23
Like, I'm trying to change that model for, like, for my family.
00:33:26
Right?
00:33:26
Breaking generational patterns.
00:33:27
It's it.
00:33:28
Is not for a fan of heart.
00:33:30
It never goes well for the person doing it.
00:33:32
Right?
00:33:32
You're gonna get I I mean, you're gonna get outcast because it's like, wait.
00:33:36
Why do I gotta take something what was wrong the way that you grew up?
00:33:38
Yeah.
00:33:38
Oh,
00:33:38
yeah.
00:33:38
And
00:33:38
there's slack from that, for sure.
00:33:40
I grew up in a house, and I even told the girls a little bit about it.
00:33:43
You know, I grew up in a house that was full yelling, full cursing, always fighting, and
00:33:47
it's, and it's so twisted because my dad knew my my ability, and he had no idea how to get it
00:33:51
out of me.
00:33:52
So, it was fear.
00:33:53
It was yelling.
00:33:54
It was cursing.
00:33:55
It was lengths that very frowned upon today's world, and should have been frowned upon then
00:34:01
too.
00:34:02
And I just remember, like, I can tell you where I was when I was twelve years old after a bad
00:34:08
baseball game.
00:34:09
I'm 39.
00:34:11
I could tell you sitting in a car in Temecula, California driving home and thinking to myself
00:34:17
at 12, I never want my kids to hate me because I hate my dad once I had kids, and I'm very
00:34:24
lucky that God gave me 2 daughters.
00:34:25
Don't know what I'd be like with sons, and I'll admit this.
00:34:27
I I don't know what I would have been like.
00:34:30
I know where my intelligence level was.
00:34:32
I know my athletic pedigree, so I would have already known what the expectation would have
00:34:35
been.
00:34:36
The daughter's mentality has always been.
00:34:37
I don't care what you do.
00:34:38
We're gonna do it the best we possibly can't do it.
00:34:41
There's only one person that has your last name.
00:34:44
Have you seen that movie Molly's game?
00:34:45
It's about the girl that ran she ran have you ever heard about the big big hulkers game?
00:34:50
Like Danville is there.
00:34:50
Like Danville is there, you know, you've heard his
00:34:52
name before.
00:34:52
Yeah.
00:34:53
So he got his name because he played in this big, big poker game.
00:34:56
Yeah.
00:34:56
Like, Alex Rodriguez played in a bunch of Hollywood people played in this poker game.
00:34:59
She's the person who started it.
00:35:00
Oh, okay.
00:35:01
She's an ex Olympic skier who got hurt.
00:35:04
She was brilliant though, and it's the story of how she got hurt.
00:35:09
And one of her things is, like, there's nothing worse than the world than 4th place at the
00:35:12
Olympics.
00:35:13
And, like, she was chasing her Olympic dream.
00:35:15
She gets hurt and she gets into this world of high end poker, and then she ends up being the
00:35:20
one who runs the game.
00:35:21
It's the craziest story that's cool.
00:35:23
Super true.
00:35:24
Yeah.
00:35:24
And so it's wild in that regard.
00:35:26
2 of her best quotes is she says, her attorney asked her if he's being tough enough on his
00:35:33
daughter.
00:35:33
And she says, do you know how many women in the Olympics have tough dads?
00:35:38
He goes, how many?
00:35:39
She says all of them.
00:35:41
He goes, you she goes, be harder.
00:35:43
And I've always taken that to a certain degree.
00:35:46
You have to go as hard as you can go.
00:35:48
Oh, because she says, She's Yeah.
00:35:50
So, the event of her, she's not taking a plea deal because she knows what she did wrong and
00:35:54
what she didn't do wrong.
00:35:57
And, She wasn't gonna take a plea deal because her whole thing was like, there's only one
00:36:01
person that has my name, and that means a lot to me.
00:36:04
And I didn't do what they say I did.
00:36:07
So I'm not taking the pleading.
00:36:08
He's like, they're gonna you're you're going to jail.
00:36:11
And without giving away the whole ending, she's like, the whole reason she didn't, and she
00:36:14
goes, that's my last name.
00:36:16
And I was like, if my daughters are in their mid twenties, and they, and they take anything
00:36:21
away from life, like, their name, just meaning so much to them, You know, like, look, Jesus
00:36:27
died on the cross for what he stood for.
00:36:30
Like, if anyone could have fixed his situation, it was him.
00:36:35
And she was going to go to court because that was her name.
00:36:39
And I was just like, man, my daughters are like, this is my name, and that matter and this
00:36:44
is what's right, and I will stand for that.
00:36:46
I've never forgotten it.
00:36:47
So, I've always been like, look, you will go hard no matter what we're gonna go into.
00:36:52
Well, we're gonna do it differently.
00:36:53
Like, we're not, we're not yelling and cussing.
00:36:56
Yep.
00:36:57
I'm not gonna scare you into success.
00:36:59
Well, that's the concept of, like, being firm and loving.
00:37:02
And in this book, it talks about, right?
00:37:03
There's, like, the the different types.
00:37:04
There's the helicopter parents, which are just all over the kids.
00:37:07
The kid trips.
00:37:08
They pick them up right away rather than, like, letting them kind of figure it out.
00:37:11
Then there's the dictator or, like, authoritarian, which is just like, y'all scream
00:37:15
spank, like, all the time, very, like, intense.
00:37:18
And then there's the vermin loving parent, right, which is they call it consultant, which
00:37:22
is like, hey, like,
00:37:23
this is how we act.
00:37:24
That's you're you're wrong.
00:37:25
So there's gonna be a a consequence.
00:37:27
Let's talk about what you did wrong.
00:37:28
So we're sharing from this, right, and being very, like, present with that, like, teaching
00:37:32
moment.
00:37:33
Which that's that's what I'm trying to shift to because my default is to be more of like
00:37:38
authoritarian.
00:37:38
I was raised with a lot of, like, just yelling discipline like that.
00:37:41
And so, like, naturally, that's my default is to, like, fly off the handle.
00:37:44
But I think you can be at the right time.
00:37:46
Like, at 3, they have to have guidelines in life.
00:37:49
For sure.
00:37:49
Like, you how you choose to be an authority, I think, really, really matters.
00:37:54
I mean, like, at 3, we had an insanely strict task, and I will definitely tell you the way
00:37:59
they act now is a 1000% attributed to what I did didn't let happen between 2 and 4.
00:38:06
For sure.
00:38:07
And 4 and 6.
00:38:08
Like, you get past 6, it gets real hard changing behavior.
00:38:12
You get past 8, it gets really hard changing behavior.
00:38:14
Past 8, you needed, I mean, it was, like, a lot to change behavior.
00:38:19
Yeah.
00:38:19
You know, if they would get upset about things, it would simply be like, I can't talk.
00:38:24
You gotta tell me what's up.
00:38:26
The way that you're sharing with me, what's up?
00:38:28
I'm not understanding.
00:38:29
Right.
00:38:29
So, this matters to you, and we would talk, we just, we talked relentlessly about that.
00:38:33
And I see kids all the time.
00:38:34
I mean, there's a 1000 chillers, right?
00:38:37
All these girls don't fit.
00:38:40
I look at them.
00:38:40
I'm like, yo, this will run the same page.
00:38:43
Like, that's that would that's a fly.
00:38:45
Right?
00:38:45
Yeah.
00:38:46
We
00:38:46
don't do that.
00:38:47
Yeah.
00:38:47
Yeah.
00:38:48
I I dated a girl once.
00:38:51
And her daughters came around and she had a daughter that showed her emotions however she
00:38:56
wanted to.
00:38:57
And I remember Mia lifted me I won't say her name, and she goes, you know, if they ever,
00:39:03
like, like, moved in with us, she's like, we have to talk about, like, like, your behavior,
00:39:08
whatever we I was like, yeah, you got it.
00:39:12
You pick up on it.
00:39:13
Good stuff.
00:39:14
That's great.
00:39:15
You know what's up with that.
00:39:17
I I just I believe in a lot of this stuff, though, to my core, like, raising, like,
00:39:21
raising strong women.
00:39:23
My personal belief is, like, we so many times we act on how our parents treated us.
00:39:28
Exactly what we're saying.
00:39:29
Like, we learned.
00:39:30
That's a learned behavior.
00:39:31
And so then it becomes introspection, reflection, and understanding what kind of the
00:39:36
root cause of, like, how I adapt.
00:39:38
I just remember, like, I had, from an introspection standpoint, like, I remember I
00:39:42
was at bad kid.
00:39:44
I mean, I'm bad.
00:39:45
My what my mom would do to my dad though is my dad would be he'd coach basketball for many
00:39:50
years.
00:39:51
I'd be at home.
00:39:52
I'd be bad.
00:39:53
As soon as your dad gets home, you gotta go back to the room because he's gonna spank you.
00:39:57
How awful was that for my dad?
00:39:59
My dad comes in.
00:40:00
He knew I was a bad kid.
00:40:01
So he's like, alright.
00:40:02
I'll spank him.
00:40:02
And then he just hauled.
00:40:04
Like, my dad just hauled off at me.
00:40:06
Right?
00:40:06
So that's what I remember of my dad and, like, what discipline looked like.
00:40:11
And, not controlling your emotions.
00:40:13
Right?
00:40:13
I never really my dad, like, was pretty good.
00:40:16
A phenomenal basketball player.
00:40:18
You talk about, like, degree.
00:40:19
My dad was a 2 sport athlete at the University of North Dakota.
00:40:21
Like, like, he came from that, so he expected a lot out of me.
00:40:25
So, like, I was always in it to see what his opinion was for everything.
00:40:29
When you brought that up the other day, we were talking about, like, sports, like, the jitters
00:40:33
you get before games, my jitters came from, like, my my pops gonna be there.
00:40:37
Like, am I gonna score a goal tonight and pop see me?
00:40:40
Right?
00:40:40
And, like, a lot of that was that nervousness.
00:40:42
If he didn't show up,
00:40:42
I played better.
00:40:43
How weird is that?
00:40:44
Dude, I gotta
00:40:45
be, like, more at ease.
00:40:46
Yeah.
00:40:46
A lot of
00:40:47
stem is stem from that.
00:40:48
Right?
00:40:48
But, like, something I coach my daughters through, so we're in the golf.
00:40:51
So golf's kind of like our sport, but golf has so many different dynamics to it where it's not
00:40:56
like team oriented.
00:40:57
Like, you're not you're like yourself, right?
00:41:00
It's you.
00:41:01
And so you're 1, you're, like, with your mind, like, a lot.
00:41:04
Right?
00:41:04
You gotta kind of work through that.
00:41:06
But, like, on the on the emotional side, like, when I going back to, like, how, like, my mom
00:41:12
didn't wanna speak to me, so she waited for my dad.
00:41:14
And I was like, dang, man.
00:41:15
Like, I don't wanna do Like, I don't wanna I don't wanna come into our house.
00:41:19
That's your job now.
00:41:20
And, like, that's my job to spank my kid because, like, he was bad that day for my mom.
00:41:25
And so, like, what we do now is, like and I've gotten a lot better at it.
00:41:30
I'm not gonna lie for, like, the 1st couple of years, like, of parenting 3 girls.
00:41:35
I'm just like, you know, I'm like,
00:41:36
what the heck?
00:41:37
Like, pick this up and do that.
00:41:39
But, like, through just the process of being able to, like, look in their eyes, I'm actually
00:41:46
gonna take something from you guys, though.
00:41:47
Like, there's gotta be a punishment if I, like, don't that.
00:41:50
Right?
00:41:51
Like, I don't have.
00:41:52
I don't think I have enough punishment of, like, running.
00:41:55
Like, I gotta I gotta sprint a hundred yards, you know, at full pace.
00:41:58
But, that element of, like, we will all go into the house.
00:42:03
Like, if there is a bad day, like, we sit down.
00:42:06
We talk about it.
00:42:06
Be like, Just tell me your feelings.
00:42:08
I I wanna know you're not that I'm trying to be soft with you.
00:42:11
I wanna know what's going on in your head.
00:42:13
Like, I just wanna know, like, what's going on in your head, Genevieve, that you can't, like,
00:42:20
you can't talk to me why you spawn, you know, just, like, coming out and just being super
00:42:25
aggressive.
00:42:25
And a lot of times, like, this just happened a couple weekends ago.
00:42:28
My wife was gone for the weekend.
00:42:30
Of course, we had been to Europe, she goes gone, she got, she's gone for a weekend, and it
00:42:35
was 100% her reaction to that, right?
00:42:37
My wife's gone for a period of like, 14 days.
00:42:41
I'm there with the kids.
00:42:42
And she just needs she's like, I miss mom.
00:42:44
Like, that's what ultimately was the culmination of it.
00:42:47
I was like, do you need a hug right now?
00:42:48
Is that what you need?
00:42:49
Is that a hug?
00:42:50
You get under level?
00:42:50
I just mom too.
00:42:51
Right?
00:42:51
And it's like, now you're in the same, you know, the same field.
00:42:54
Yeah.
00:42:55
Like, so we get on
00:42:55
the same, playing field, and then and then we walk through it.
00:42:58
But but making that flip
00:43:00
of, like, yeah, I
00:43:00
I kinda wanted to lash out, like, sometimes, like, with my dad just, like, be angry, but I
00:43:08
was like, if you can control your emotions, man, you have power.
00:43:11
Like, you have total power, there's so much in what you just said too.
00:43:14
I mean, one of the biggest things I heard a pastor a few years ago, and he was saying, you
00:43:18
know how we hated cutting their grass when we were kids?
00:43:20
We hated it.
00:43:21
And then all of a sudden, like, you get a yard and you love it, like, what happened?
00:43:24
I don't love a stand here.
00:43:26
You don't love it.
00:43:27
Like, my yard, I'm like, looking at it.
00:43:29
He goes, what happened?
00:43:30
And I'm like, this I'm like, I don't know what happened.
00:43:32
He was saying something, but I
00:43:33
he was, it became your yard.
00:43:34
Yeah.
00:43:35
I'm like, it's wild.
00:43:36
Ownership.
00:43:37
Yeah.
00:43:37
Our house, Barkar, everything is ours in our house.
00:43:41
It's never.
00:43:42
And if I say I'll be out, I'll be, oh, you know, like, I go to, I gotta go, like, my
00:43:45
house, whatever.
00:43:45
And they will be like, our house.
00:43:47
I'm like, you're right.
00:43:48
It is our house.
00:43:49
Clean the house.
00:43:50
Real easy.
00:43:50
Real easy.
00:43:50
Hey.
00:43:50
Hey.
00:43:51
Hey.
00:43:51
Can you help him clean our kitchen?
00:43:52
Can you help him clean up, make sure our that was a wild thing.
00:43:55
And then we all believe in learning behavior.
00:43:57
Right?
00:43:58
So if
00:43:58
we all believe in learned behavior that you don't think that they're gonna learn about how,
00:44:02
like, we treat them or Hey, dad.
00:44:05
If you don't wanna chase your goals, here's a great example.
00:44:07
Last night, you got pissed at me, didn't you?
00:44:10
Yes.
00:44:10
Like, really, really mad.
00:44:12
And what did I break last night?
00:44:14
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00:44:56
So daddy does his thing called 75 hard.
00:44:59
And last night, he w he was doing really, really good.
00:45:03
He was, he was almost on day 9.
00:45:06
Today would be day 9 for him, but he had ice cream.
00:45:08
And, like, you achieving
00:45:12
I've done it.
00:45:12
I've completed it a couple years ago, but me achieving it, she's like, yo, we're chasing all
00:45:17
of our dreams.
00:45:18
We're chasing all of our goals.
00:45:19
You can't chase 1.
00:45:21
And I I I know that she's been, like, wanting me to do it.
00:45:23
I guess I didn't take it super serious that she's been, like, hey, like, and I I've got a
00:45:27
big race.
00:45:27
I'm doing Everest 290029.
00:45:29
Yeah.
00:45:29
I don't know what that is.
00:45:31
So, I gotta climb Snowbase in Utah 15 times in 36 hours.
00:45:35
And if I can summit fifteen times 36 hours.
00:45:38
That's equivalent to 29 feet, which is the equivalent of Everest.
00:45:41
So, like, you hike up, take a condo down, you hike up, and it's two miles up.
00:45:44
I gotta go two miles up, get about it.
00:45:46
Thirty miles.
00:45:47
Right?
00:45:47
Yeah.
00:45:48
I gotta do thirty miles.
00:45:49
It's but it also you said you hike.
00:45:50
So it's at it starts at 6500 6500 Yeah.
00:45:54
Yeah.
00:45:54
Yeah.
00:45:54
Yeah.
00:45:54
So I'm already at Elevation.
00:45:56
It's not like some of they do, like, 6 different mountains.
00:45:58
I gotta hack for you too.
00:45:59
Are you training with a mask?
00:46:01
For that?
00:46:02
No one needs to.
00:46:02
It's a whole separate thing.
00:46:04
We can go we can go into that.
00:46:05
I was gonna go out there to train and they were like, don't, like, you can't get out for me.
00:46:09
Even even if you left there for a week, you won't get made it.
00:46:11
Like, so there's no point flying out for a week in training out to do, because you'll come home
00:46:15
and this is not gonna have any impact.
00:46:16
I'm like, Oh, it's interesting.
00:46:16
Exactly.
00:46:17
Yeah.
00:46:17
You have to live there.
00:46:18
Yeah.
00:46:18
But the
00:46:18
point is that, like, I'm training for things but she was like, it wasn't what she could see.
00:46:23
And so, like, last night, she like flips on me, like, the switch flips.
00:46:29
And we're leaving, like, even though her mom and I aren't together, like, we're still, like,
00:46:33
tight and they have a hotel, they've got a hotel room, I've got a hotel room, whatever.
00:46:36
They gave us two kings.
00:46:38
And so I didn't want all three girls in one room, because my oldest, he's trying to compete
00:46:41
with national championships, which he needs to, like, sleep.
00:46:43
I'm like, yo, Mia, you'll stay on my room.
00:46:46
When you say it in tons of hotels, and she goes, well, I don't want to sleep in the same
00:46:51
bed as dad.
00:46:52
Like, boys and girls should be in the same bed.
00:46:54
And I'm like, love where your mind's at, 100% true, what's really
00:46:56
going on?
00:46:56
Like, what's when why don't wanna go back.
00:47:03
So, tell me, in my head, I'm like, great.
00:47:05
If I was another parent, I heard this, I would be like, why is my daughter acting suspicious?
00:47:09
What's happened?
00:47:10
Like, what's going on?
00:47:11
Like, what don't I know?
00:47:12
I'm like, this isn't a funny joke, man.
00:47:14
Like, what, I I'm like, people are gonna hear you say this, and they're doing a trip at
00:47:19
different things.
00:47:20
And I'm like, know, you don't wanna be in the same room as your dad.
00:47:23
You're a girl.
00:47:24
It's why my mind spiraling you.
00:47:26
What's going on?
00:47:27
Like, you this is the wrong lie.
00:47:29
Yeah.
00:47:29
Like, And she doesn't understand, like, the depth of how bad, like, this this lie looks.
00:47:34
And I'm like, so I'm getting, I'm getting pissed.
00:47:36
And so she goes up to the hotel room to get her, like, her PJs to come over to my hotel,
00:47:41
and it finally clicks on me that, like, she's pissed that I have an ice cream.
00:47:46
Like, her whole, her whole demeanor team, where did mom come back downstairs?
00:47:49
I look at it, and I, I set her down, and I'm like, how mad are you that I broke 75 hard?
00:47:54
And she's like, it's like 80% of the reason matter right now.
00:47:57
And I was like, thank god for that for your mom.
00:48:00
Like, I was like, okay.
00:48:03
And I and there was good for her mom to also witness because her mom was always witness,
00:48:07
like, how I pair it.
00:48:07
And so we talked all about it last night, didn't we?
00:48:09
We talked about why it hurt and why, like, it was it really hurt her that I did that, like,
00:48:14
my little scoop of ice cream, like, really hurt her.
00:48:17
We talked all about it.
00:48:18
I was like, alright, next time we had to find a different like Avenue for you to be like, I
00:48:22
don't want to go to a hotel and dad.
00:48:24
That looks so bad.
00:48:25
Yeah.
00:48:26
It was all, it was done from like, she was so pissed.
00:48:28
She wanted nothing to do with me.
00:48:30
She wanted nothing to do with me last night.
00:48:31
Like, I let her down because, like, yo, we have goals.
00:48:34
You have a goal.
00:48:35
We have a process.
00:48:36
You have a process.
00:48:37
And, like, at the end, my light says it, like, your kids are gonna figure you out.
00:48:40
Like, one or sooner or later, man, I was, like, harsh, less than last night, dude.
00:48:45
That is, man.
00:48:46
She's holding you accountable.
00:48:47
Right?
00:48:47
So it's it goes both ways.
00:48:49
Right?
00:48:49
I mean, and that's
00:48:50
That's a kind of odd
00:48:51
by you to honor that today.
00:48:53
Well, for sure.
00:48:54
And I'm also like, I'm not gonna reach my goals.
00:48:56
Like, I've got massive goals for the next 6 months.
00:49:00
And it's gonna take an insane discipline.
00:49:02
Now, I know that, like, that scoop of ice cream did not get in between me and achieving average
00:49:06
or not.
00:49:07
However, like, many parts of my day week and month?
00:49:11
Is that little bitty just like that little dent in the armor, like add up?
00:49:16
Yeah.
00:49:16
For sure.
00:49:16
Yeah.
00:49:17
And the fact that she sees it, I'm super proud of her, but, man, like, no need to be held in
00:49:22
check.
00:49:22
Like, no more of helped me in check last night, right?
00:49:24
Every way, even mom was like, Mia, you're on vacation.
00:49:27
Like, it's this was okay.
00:49:29
You need to get mad.
00:49:30
And in my mind, I'm like, no.
00:49:31
Like, she directly correlated in rightfully Seoul.
00:49:35
So, like, Like, dude, we we have goals.
00:49:37
Yeah.
00:49:38
We write out the process to achieve the goal, and then we erase the goal.
00:49:41
That's how our whole house operates.
00:49:43
Yeah.
00:49:44
And dude watching her, like, be legitimately let down because I had a scoop of ice cream
00:49:48
last night.
00:49:49
People think it's so small.
00:49:50
And I'm like, no, you're missing the point.
00:49:52
Like, it's actually huge.
00:49:54
Yeah.
00:49:54
Yeah.
00:49:55
Like, he should have let her down.
00:49:56
That's so important.
00:49:57
And we were talking about this, today because we so we had, right before this, we up early.
00:50:03
My buddy is a e commerce company, but he's, starting up a run club here.
00:50:07
And so we're like, yeah.
00:50:08
Yeah.
00:50:08
We'll go.
00:50:09
I always I mean, we check each other all the time as far as, hey, what what comes out of
00:50:13
your mouth is super important, right?
00:50:15
What do we what do we call that?
00:50:16
Championship?
00:50:18
To shit mindset.
00:50:19
Language.
00:50:19
Language.
00:50:20
Oh,
00:50:20
yeah.
00:50:20
We're coming in about this massive.
00:50:22
So when you say I'm not a runner, it's like, no.
00:50:25
No.
00:50:25
No.
00:50:25
I'm just getting better at running right now.
00:50:27
Right?
00:50:27
And
00:50:27
I'm getting better at it.
00:50:28
I'm just getting, you know, I'm learning.
00:50:30
I'm I'm getting better at it.
00:50:31
Some refrain.
00:50:31
Yeah.
00:50:31
I'm not a runner.
00:50:32
Who said you're not a runner?
00:50:33
Who's a runner?
00:50:34
You know what I mean?
00:50:34
That guy that runs, like, 26 miles, but he runs at, like, a 13 minute pace.
00:50:38
Like, he calls himself a runner.
00:50:40
Right?
00:50:40
Right.
00:50:41
So, like, it's the thing of which you interpret.
00:50:43
So Anyways, we go this morning, though, and we run about five miles.
00:50:47
So it's like, it's a we started at Bay Shore, really cool.
00:50:50
We run down Bay Shore and came back.
00:50:52
But there's this element of, like, when you're running, right?
00:50:56
You're like, man, I I really could, like, step off the gassier a little bit.
00:50:59
Like, I maybe if I'm You know?
00:51:02
But you've got a community of guys around you.
00:51:04
And then you're like, you know, it's pushing that pace
00:51:07
a little bit.
00:51:07
Don't have that, Robin.
00:51:08
I am I am dying on the bus.
00:51:11
I told him.
00:51:11
I was like, man, like, probably, like, three miles in.
00:51:13
Like, there was a point where my legs were you know, starting to get that, like, little
00:51:17
fatigue.
00:51:18
Yeah.
00:51:18
And, like, your mind starts playing tricks on you a little bit.
00:51:20
Right?
00:51:20
And, like, I haven't been running much lately.
00:51:21
So I was like, man, If I was by myself, I probably would've stopped to walk for a sec to,
00:51:26
like, regain.
00:51:27
But y'all were all running still.
00:51:28
So I was
00:51:28
like, I gotta keep it pretty running.
00:51:30
Do you like me to keep it going?
00:51:31
And I did.
00:51:31
It was fine.
00:51:32
Like, but this is the power in that and the reason why, like, you embody and you articulate
00:51:36
your goals to your kids and you tell it to your kids.
00:51:39
Is because they hold you accountable in the same manner of, like, that group that's
00:51:44
running.
00:51:44
Right?
00:51:44
Right.
00:51:44
So
00:51:45
I actually gotta I gotta keep pace.
00:51:47
Right?
00:51:47
Team.
00:51:47
Yeah.
00:51:47
And so, like, if you're not if you're not dreaming in front of your kids and you have
00:51:52
goals and they're not seeing that and holding you accountable along the way,
00:51:56
you'd be like, yeah.
00:51:57
I can
00:51:57
I can take my foot off the gas?
00:51:59
But as Craig Rochelle says, you gotta do things consistently, what other people do
00:52:02
occasionally, it'd be great.
00:52:03
Right?
00:52:04
And so it's like, dreaming in front of that, and I wrote an ebook on that.
00:52:09
This, yesterday, just like kinda dialing in what it means to dream in front of a kid.
00:52:14
Right?
00:52:14
And then having that be the level of accountability of, like, actually, yeah, check
00:52:19
myself.
00:52:20
Like, actually, I could be better than that.
00:52:21
That's awesome.
00:52:25
Can't ever could.
00:52:26
Can't ever could.
00:52:26
You can say anything else in our house.
00:52:28
You said the word can't.
00:52:29
You will have 25 sprints.
00:52:31
And, like, was it if instead of saying can't, what are some examples?
00:52:35
You could say I'm struggling.
00:52:35
I need help.
00:52:35
I'm unable to do this.
00:52:35
You could just acts, like
00:52:44
1000 options, except for can't.
00:52:46
Yeah.
00:52:46
Because can't has a period.
00:52:48
And you can't change can't.
00:52:50
Uh-huh.
00:52:51
And we brought that in.
00:52:53
Can't ever come.
00:52:53
That was when they were 2 and 4.
00:52:55
I mean, hurt, like, immediate.
00:52:57
I said, oh, my kids too.
00:52:58
Yeah.
00:52:58
And you, you could slip into the effort to get less trouble in our house than we can.
00:53:02
It is not allowed.
00:53:03
It has no place.
00:53:04
Champion check language with your children.
00:53:06
And if you guys hear nothing else or this, it matters to the highest, highest level.
00:53:11
Like my my oldest, chasing this chair dream, like her dream is cheering at the University of
00:53:15
Tennessee, just won the national championship and chair.
00:53:17
I'm like, yo, you could share almost anywhere you want, and there's, like, 10 schools are
00:53:21
really, really good.
00:53:22
I love it for a thing, right?
00:53:23
And She came on for the gym one day and she was she she's like, you know, I'm really struggling
00:53:28
on this certain skill.
00:53:30
And she's like, but I'm gonna get this skill.
00:53:33
I'm like, what have you what have you learned in that?
00:53:34
And she's like, that is just championship language.
00:53:36
And I was like, you know, you you can't prom stuff.
00:53:42
Like, you ain't hear it.
00:53:42
Come I just thought she was, she was stretching one morning.
00:53:45
She goes, she goes, I'm like, hey, so I'm really proud of you for stretching.
00:53:49
She goes, don't thank me.
00:53:50
She got on a stretch for you today.
00:53:51
A stretch for me.
00:53:52
You start to see these like light bulbs click.
00:53:54
Yeah.
00:53:54
Yeah.
00:53:54
And you're just like and what sof doesn't know if she sees everything.
00:53:59
Yeah.
00:53:59
Right.
00:53:59
So, so if doesn't realize that, like, when Sophie said that I didn't stress
00:54:02
for you
00:54:03
to do it, she was, don't thank me.
00:54:04
This is casual.
00:54:04
We'll call her out of school.
00:54:05
I'm like, Hey, so, saw you church in this morning before school, only like, you know, I'm
00:54:08
proud of you.
00:54:09
She's like, I didn't do it for you though.
00:54:11
So I was like, you don't have to thank me.
00:54:12
Yeah.
00:54:13
I was like, Yes.
00:54:14
And I'm
00:54:15
like, it wasn't even that.
00:54:16
I'm happy.
00:54:16
I'm like, your sister heard that though.
00:54:18
Your sister saw you doing the stretching.
00:54:20
She heard You know, and there's just just there says that, you know, there's a whole hundred
00:54:25
hours a year.
00:54:25
There's been a hundred hours a year doing something.
00:54:28
You'll be better than 95% of the people in the world that do that crap.
00:54:31
Right?
00:54:31
So it's 18 minutes a day.
00:54:32
So every time I get you to 18 minutes, you have your 18 minutes a day.
00:54:35
Right?
00:54:36
Right.
00:54:36
That's it.
00:54:37
And we talk about it.
00:54:37
You got 18 minutes a day on your soccer school got 18 minutes a day on your cheer stuff.
00:54:41
Now do we train hard shirt, but at a minimum of 18 minutes a day.
00:54:45
And now she's at my haste.
00:54:46
She you see soap through her 18 minutes a day?
00:54:48
Guess what?
00:54:49
Had their soccer ball, and she's doing her skills in the basement, that kind of stuff.
00:54:53
I mean, that, that, that stuff is super, really
00:54:55
building block.
00:54:56
I freaking love that, man.
00:54:57
You're you're crushing it, man, and you're very inspiring to me.
00:54:59
You know, like, my kids are a little bit younger than yours.
00:55:01
And so, like, a lot of the stuff, I'm gonna take from you and implement it.
00:55:04
We're gonna have more conversations.
00:55:06
Well, thanks, Carl, man.
00:55:08
We're definitely gonna be bringing you back.
00:55:10
God, bro.
00:55:10
Hands down.
00:55:12
Definitely
00:55:13
gonna be ringing
00:55:13
back on.
00:55:13
We had a phenomenal conversation.
00:55:15
So, as always, the full field, the Beyond Lemons, baby.