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To the full fuel podcast.
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We'll
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come back to full field.
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This is part 2.
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The podcast we filmed a couple weeks ago.
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I am Carl Eppolito.
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My name is Mia Eppolito.
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If you're blaming it on your kids that you can't have a fit body, that is one of, like,
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your greatest shame that the shame that you're putting on your
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kids because you can't keep a fit body
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is like you couldn't do something worse,
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right?
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Right.
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Right.
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Like, no, that's not it at all.
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You're not the proper model then comes into like, no, I'm gonna model that for my kids.
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The reason I should be fit is like it.
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Not the excuse why it can't be.
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That should be the reason why I wanna be fit because I wanna be there when maybe she gets
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married.
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You wanna walk her down the aisle?
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Came, bro?
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Are you gonna be walking?
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You're gonna be running?
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Are you gonna be doing headset?
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Talk about some of the the stuff you're doing with content creation, branding, helping people
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in that front, man, and and let's kinda roll into that.
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Yeah.
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So, look, I love storytelling.
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One of the things that I learned in my business career before I got in the content world, if,
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you know, when I was in sales, the best way to sell your product is understanding, like, well,
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2, there's 2 things.
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1, understand the problem that you're solving and go solve a problem.
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Stop selling features and functionality.
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The second biggest thing is understanding buying processes.
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If I understand how you buy, when you buy, what was a compelling event that triggered your
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buying process, actually anything.
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I know how you buy.
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Stop.
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Yeah.
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Like
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what you're buying process?
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What was the event that triggered?
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Right?
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So and the B2B, we're laying minimum 60% of the buying process has happened before we've ever
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even engaged.
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Right?
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So, you're already thinking.
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You're already looking.
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Your eyes are already else when you've already in your mind started buying this service before
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I even know about it.
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What was the event that had in are, is my product, is my service in front of your eyes,
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as you're searching the marketplace.
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We've never even engaged yet.
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And I love that about sales.
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Cause I, I always talked to myself about this.
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I went to Tennessee on an academic scholarship.
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I went and got my MBA And then I learned that, like, guys who meet who are in sales and all
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the money.
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I'm like, so, I, like, I, I think to myself, like, I've I was a I was a very good athlete,
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but I was a great student.
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And I was like, I know I'm smarter than you.
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So, like, why would I not make more money than you?
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If we're gonna go do sprints and I train harder, I can be faster, very linear, extremely
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linear.
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So, I found out that sales guys made more money let's get into sales.
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Sounds like, well, any idiot can pick the phone up and just dial for dollars.
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So how does that just be smarter?
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I I was so egotistical.
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I'll admit this.
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That you could make more money in sales and not be smarter.
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I I took that as a personal jab.
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So, I can just figure out the process better There's something that I can just figure out.
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I became obsessed with that.
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So, the buying process is massive.
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You can figure out your target customer your marketplace, the market is simple.
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Like, there's a problem.
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Here's the solution.
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How many people have the problem?
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What are they willing to pay for?
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That's total addressable market.
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It's extremely straightforward.
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How do you solve it?
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How do other people solve it with the difference?
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Why does that matter?
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That's your competitive advantage.
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Very simple eight steps.
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That's free right there.
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When you were honest with yourself about where you fit in that matrix, I mean, be honest, and
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then you go through who has the need, the honest need.
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I think the biggest problem people have is, well, I could settle this person and this
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person.
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They want to sell to everything.
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I get it.
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You probably could.
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You're like, you know, we, we all have going on with the sauna and the, and the polar plunger
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right.
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She's been doing ice baths, since before they were cool, you could sell to everybody, but
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who's your best person.
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Right.
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Target.
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Yeah.
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The
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best person.
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Even even mean, I take, I take Target market and I'm talking drill it down 8 times.
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Like, if because there's so many people, there's so many people, go find the best person
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and then just brutally attack them.
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And then, you know, it's one standard deviation away from that, and it's one standard deviation
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away from that.
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So, I became obsessed with that in the software we're And when I got into content, I just took
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that and applied it.
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Right?
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So it's like content to me is I have to tell my client stories.
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I've gotta tell my stories that they'd land, but they're a target audience.
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If you go viral and you get a million views, that's great.
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Like, when we don't we got a 150 views across all platforms.
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If it isn't who you're trying to sell your product to, it doesn't matter.
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These vanity metrics online are total nonsense.
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And you've got people have got to get away from this.
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If you have 2000 followers and 1500 are your target market, and 500 engage a month.
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Mhmm.
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Those are amazing metrics.
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That's insane.
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Yeah.
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Stop thinking to yourself like, oh, your account only reached 500 people.
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My social media guy sucks, Bob.
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No, no, no, no, no, do you, do you know what people would pay for 500 warm leads?
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Yeah.
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Like, they're just so there's they're they're so disconnected.
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I kinda saw this gap, but we were making content.
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I had big brands, Omaha, stakes, Microsoft, all the dating apps because I'm a single dad.
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I started doing this, like, these consulting gigs with these big, big brands, and none of
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them understood how to make short form video or social media content that wasn't highly highly
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produced or just static pictures.
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They had
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no clue how to tell a story an audience they were actually building.
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Anyone can put a ton of money behind marketing and get brand awareness.
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The building an audience.
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And telling their story, there's a huge gap in the market with that.
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And there still is a huge gap in the market with it.
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A lot of guys are selling.
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I'll come video I'll come video you out of speaking engagement or I'll come and shoot your
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products, you know, I'll splice it up and then we'll just post it.
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And I'm thinking to myself like, alright.
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Let's go back to that beginning piece of that buying process.
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Alright.
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So, let's go to your target market.
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Great.
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Do you know the kind of content that your target market consumes with?
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Have you actually done that research?
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Well, you know, I, I, I know.
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Am I, no, no, no, no, I don't, I don't care what you know, Have you done the research to
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look at a 1000 profiles of your target market to know the kind of content?
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Not that they post, that they consume.
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Yeah.
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Big difference being post, you know, consumer and consumption, in production, then is the
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kind of content you're producing the kind of content they're consuming.
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Well, yeah, but that's not like, well, I don't want to make that kind
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of content.
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That's, that's fine, but then don't tell you want to convert your social to actual leads.
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It's not about you.
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It's not about you and your product trying to like a certain image, if you're trying to, you
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know, move, move, merge, move product, or me, my services, you need to be making the kind of
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content your target market consumes in the way that they consume it.
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Right.
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You
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have 3 seconds with your hook.
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That's it.
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And I'd say you have about 1.8 seconds.
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Yeah.
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Think of how you scroll.
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Quicker.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So are you, you know, can you get them to actually stay on it?
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Right.
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So, on a movie that you go set out, a movie builds up, they have character development,
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then plot development, then you have your your conflict, your resolution, your climax, the top
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movie gets done.
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So, in social and content, it's that in peace goes up front your resolution is the first
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thing that has to be shown.
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And they're like, well, if you do that, then there's gonna keep scrolling.
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I'm like, study psychology a little more.
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That's actually not what happens.
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They wanna be like, wait, how do I get there?
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What happened?
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Then it's and then it's plot development.
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And then it's character development.
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There's a different, like, scientific mechanism behind how the videos get done.
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Yeah.
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You're called the actions completely different.
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This idea of like a call to action and everything don't know.
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I want my audience, what followers, I want engagements, then you have the conversion.
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Yeah.
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I'm I'm actually very against call to actions.
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Some of your content, yes.
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Most of your content, you're building relationship.
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Yeah.
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If you had it, if you were doing a big deal with someone, y'all would go play golf.
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You'd go play that you'd go to dinner for sure.
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You'd build the relationship.
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Right?
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So go
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do it with your content and your audience.
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What was that what was that stat we heard the other day?
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It was, like, 80%, like, like, value 20% ask
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or something
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like that.
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Like Well, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So I have a whole thought on that big time, Toby.
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So when it comes to content, you give away this secret sauce for free.
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You're not that special.
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Yeah.
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Give away the secret sauce you charge for implementation.
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100% because people don't wanna do it.
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Right?
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You know what I mean?
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They don't
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don't wanna do
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it.
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Do
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it.
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That's why I say with with with any of your products or any of your workout stuff.
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Post all your workout plans.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Post all of your cold punch therapy.
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Post everything, because all that does is, you're just building that's not building a
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relationship with your audience.
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Yeah.
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Think of every one of those things as taking someone to play off.
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Taking someone to go to dinner, right, sponsoring their kids, Lily team, you know, the
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amount of time, like, I was playing a golf tournament with a guy.
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You know, I'm trying to sign as a client.
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Like, we we played in a in a charity golf outing for, like, that local high school
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baseball team.
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Have a 1000 better things to do on my Friday, but nothing but nothing more important than
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building a relationship with you.
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Yeah.
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Give away everything for free, you charge for implementation because at the end of the day,
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when they buy the product, they go to your therapy, they wanna look better.
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They wanna feel better.
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Right.
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And you
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know
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how to house
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where to
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get there.
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Charge for that.
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People, again, they they get, they wanna have these call to action.
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They wanna have, especially guys that lead groups, guys at least tribes.
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My goodness.
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I think everyone's getting that wrong.
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Like, be someone that people are so inspired to follow.
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That they would pay no matter what.
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You don't ever have to mention, like, your group.
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You don't ever have to mention, like so they got this
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they're just, like,
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I'm paying him to be my coach, and he's never once posted about coaching people.
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I, I gotta get around him.
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Yeah.
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Like, I need, like, I I knee I'm like, dude, Nick, you've got a secret sauce.
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I don't have yet.
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You've achieved more than I've achieved.
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And I, like, I literally DMmed them.
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And I was like, Hey.
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Are you doing one on one coaching?
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He's like, yeah.
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I, like, that's that's how you go leads.
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He's also a brilliant marketer.
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Like, That's how you build leads.
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Yeah.
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I I think everyone's getting content super wrong in that regard, and I think it's just
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getting worse, which is the guys that get it right, I think is is actually a huge, huge
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opportunity for sure.
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That rant.
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No.
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I feel I feel very passionately at the end.
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I I think
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even too.
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It's not you were talking about you know, product services, I think just across the
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board, this is just my personal belief that no matter what, there's gotta be an element of
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sharing.
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There's so much consumption out in the world.
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We all, even the way we break down things, right?
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And like I'm looking at, I I like any movies, I'm actually trying to get back in movies to
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kinda work that left and right side of the brain of getting back into comedy and, like,
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laughing and understand how they're interacting and how you pull people in, because comedians
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are, the best at that, right?
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So, but then there's just all this element of, like, in filming that you can see in
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commercials, that no clip runs longer than 6 seconds.
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It's between 4:6 seconds, and then it's changing your eye parallel.
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Frames don't last more than 3.
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Will you watch your next movie?
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Frames don't last more than 3 seconds.
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Yeah.
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Crazy.
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I count, like, way how it's at.
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So there are some frames that'll hit you that they last a little bit longer, maybe to get
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their sentence.
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I was watching it here by forty year old virgin the other day, and, like, just to laugh at,
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Steve Gerrell.
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But, like, it was one of those things where, the the, you know, the dating scene that, like,
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he was going around and I really laugh and so hard, but they had one with Paul Rudd.
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And I'm like, and it was, like, 6 seconds.
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I was, That was the longest one I've ever seen.
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Right?
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But at the end of the day, like, I this is just my, like, personal belief I'm, everyone.
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Like, if I had to recommend, if you don't even have a product or a service, like, you don't
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have anything, personal brand is so important for you to protect and we go back to that point
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of your name.
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Like, if you're not sharing and, like, what's going on and, like, just being transparent, I
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feel like you're losing out.
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Like, you're losing out on, like, that brand that you're actually creating for yourself.
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Not everyone needs to do it.
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But I think it is important.
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Like an important thing just now in life is to have a personal brand.
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Yeah.
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I, man, there's a lot of it.
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I love what you said.
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One of the things that I've learned is that what you do share a lot of your stuff.
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We talked about that this morning, actually.
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It's going to trigger the insecurities and people who don't wanna be transparent because
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they they haven't done certain things in their life.
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Yeah.
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They're like, oh, he's sharing things.
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Should I share, like No.
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Like,
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they're He's vulnerable.
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But even
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further than that, right?
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Like, a lot of what you see is our life.
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I keep very little out.
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Nothing is made for social.
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One of the things that we do on social is I shared just enough to make my followers feel
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like they have everything, and we ought to live a very private life, which my people won't
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know, but there's a when we get to a falling at a certain site, there's like there's ways to do
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that.
00:12:54
My point is that I didn't realize the some of the pushback that I would get the friction.
00:13:02
Like, the, the more you start winning, the more people wanna see you lose.
00:13:07
Yeah.
00:13:09
And a buddy of mine sent me an Andy Priscilla quote this morning.
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I actually shared it with her.
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She's she is at a small day starting to realize Like, some people aren't being nice to me why.
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Some people might make they they make fun of me for doing certain things.
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Why?
00:13:23
And we talked about it.
00:13:24
Like, the more you win, or the more parenting, man, I don't share my parenting to make you
00:13:30
feel bad about yours.
00:13:31
It's not why I do it.
00:13:33
I don't wish my childhood on anybody.
00:13:35
I don't I mean, like, and and I and, you know, I hope my dad never hears this podcast, but,
00:13:42
like, I just I I don't wish my childhood anyway, and I also don't wish anyone to learn
00:13:47
the lessons in their childhood that I had a lot.
00:13:49
I I don't want you to go through divorce to be a great parent.
00:13:52
I want 2 parents in a house who love each other very, very much.
00:13:57
And so I try to share a lot of what I do because I don't wish my path on anybody.
00:14:02
Man, when you make somebody feel insecure about their parenting, be ready.
00:14:08
Like, they will come at you whether it's quietly behind your back, whether it's
00:14:12
publicly, whether it's a 1000 from waste.
00:14:15
So, yes, on the personal branding aspect, what I've also learned is that golly.
00:14:19
I hate saying this out loud.
00:14:20
They don't want any better.
00:14:22
Say it, man.
00:14:23
That's, like, this podcast is so raw truth, bro.
00:14:25
You can say this time all the time.
00:14:27
I wish I could I wish I could, like, like, I see certain guys.
00:14:29
I You
00:14:29
mean, like, they don't wanna level up, or, like, they're not willing.
00:14:32
Yeah.
00:14:32
We don't give a lot of these, but we're, like, level up and all this kind of stuff.
00:14:35
But just, like, So why would you have a personal brand?
00:14:37
I'll tell you why you would have a personal brand because you work for a big company and
00:14:39
you're number in a company and, like, you're just you're trying to stay above water.
00:14:43
Most people are trying
00:14:43
to stay above water.
00:14:44
They Like, they're they're just trying
00:14:47
to get by it.
00:14:48
Like, their wife probably kinda sucks, and
00:14:49
their kids probably kinda suck, and their job probably kinda bucks.
00:14:52
And they look at themselves in the mirror and they're overweight, they kind of suck.
00:14:55
And you know what, dude?
00:14:56
I'm doing good.
00:14:57
So, I want to have a few drinks tonight, and I'm like, I want to go have 5 hours on the
00:15:01
worse than, like, have a few drinks.
00:15:03
And, like, man, like, what is your problem?
00:15:06
Like,
00:15:06
stop.
00:15:06
Yeah.
00:15:07
That's, that's, that's, like, the reaction that I get from people.
00:15:09
Like, they don't wanna see, me living better because, like, they're just getting by because
00:15:14
life kinda sucks.
00:15:15
Like, we've, dude, we talk about this all the time because I have a good friend who you know,
00:15:19
as well.
00:15:19
I learned something, but it's he was like, man, like, it's like, Matt is so much just growth,
00:15:24
growth, growth, like, level up all the time.
00:15:26
He's like, sometimes you gotta just, like, take it easy.
00:15:28
I was like, I don't agree with that at all, bro.
00:15:30
And, like, like, and we call people out in our coaching program too.
00:15:33
It's like, do you wanna be average?
00:15:36
Do you?
00:15:36
Like, if your answer is yes, dude, like, then maybe this isn't the community for you because
00:15:41
we're not about average.
00:15:42
And if
00:15:43
you're not Let's talk about
00:15:44
it.
00:15:44
Right?
00:15:44
Or yeah.
00:15:45
Or like what's up?
00:15:45
Yeah.
00:15:46
Exactly.
00:15:46
Guys in their thirties, right, they typically don't operate think like Right?
00:15:51
What you're doing with your girls and what I'm doing with my girls and what Alfie's doing with
00:15:55
his kids, like, that is such an anomaly, right?
00:16:00
Intentional modeling of how we're doing that.
00:16:03
Guys, like, in their thirties, they're like, I'm I can eat whatever I want.
00:16:07
I and drink whatever I want.
00:16:09
I probably gave up.
00:16:11
Now it's the good old days type of thinking.
00:16:14
Yeah, I was an athlete type of mentality comes in.
00:16:18
And so how are we then, like, saying, guys, man, no, you gotta capture that mindset because
00:16:23
the best days are still ahead of
00:16:25
you.
00:16:25
Sure.
00:16:25
Right?
00:16:26
And so how are you holding your body to that standard as well for health span greater than
00:16:31
life span?
00:16:32
You're not just in it, smoke a cigar, drink a few truly easy bag of chips on your potty bowl,
00:16:38
saying that, man, I was a really good athlete when I was nineteen, bro, nineteen's a long
00:16:43
time ago.
00:16:44
And you don't have to be £45 overweight.
00:16:47
Right?
00:16:48
And so, like, we have guys in our optimizers program.
00:16:51
They're all in their thirties.
00:16:52
They all have kids.
00:16:53
Right?
00:16:54
And we're talking to Chris Cabellini.
00:16:55
He came on our podcast, and he he says this.
00:16:58
And this this rings true and, like, hits really, really hard.
00:17:00
If you're blaming it on kids that you can't have a fit body, that is one of, like, your
00:17:07
greatest shame that the shame that
00:17:09
you're putting on your kids because you can't keep a fit body
00:17:13
is like you couldn't do something worse, right?
00:17:16
Like, no, that's not it at all.
00:17:18
You're not the proper model then comes into like, no, I'm gonna model that for my kids.
00:17:23
The reason I should be fit is my kid.
00:17:25
Yes.
00:17:25
For
00:17:25
sure.
00:17:26
Like, not the excuse why can't be.
00:17:28
That should be the reason why I wanna be fit because I wanna be there when maybe she gets
00:17:32
married.
00:17:33
You wanna walk her down the aisle?
00:17:34
Yeah.
00:17:34
For sure.
00:17:34
Be walking with a cane, bro?
00:17:35
Are you gonna be walking You'll be running?
00:17:37
You're gonna be doing headset.
00:17:38
And my just said this, like, in a recent podcast,
00:17:40
but he said this story before in our small groups,
00:17:43
but he was talking about how when he was 33, and he wasn't really focused on, like, really
00:17:49
clean eating or doing anything.
00:17:50
He went in for a heart scan.
00:17:52
He's like, man, I'm having, like, some heart issues.
00:17:54
I think I mentioned this in, like, one of our previous podcast, but he goes in and a doc the
00:17:59
doctor comes out and here, the doctor already knew he went in for that screen, and he's
00:18:03
waiting in the lobby.
00:18:05
And he's like, I'm, looking to speak with Edward Millette.
00:18:09
He's like, picks his head up.
00:18:11
There's, like, three other people in the room.
00:18:13
He knew who he was talking to.
00:18:15
He walks over to him, and I won't go through the whole story, but this is, like, what pull
00:18:19
that in, was he he stared up dead in the eyes, and then he looked back down at the sheets,
00:18:24
stared up dead in the eyes, and then looked back down and she's like, I cannot believe
00:18:29
those arteries are in that young body.
00:18:31
Come back with me.
00:18:32
So he, like, had them.
00:18:34
Probably be like, get go.
00:18:36
But one of the things that he asked when he got in the room that was just like, I mean, he
00:18:40
just, like, dropped was, do you want another man
00:18:45
Are you prepared to
00:18:45
let another man walk your down daughter down the aisle?
00:18:48
He's like, what is in that report?
00:18:50
I need to know what is in that report.
00:18:52
And so he changed his life body.
00:18:54
Joel did, like, the trajectory of, like, how we approach his health every day is completely
00:18:58
different because of that one question.
00:18:59
Yes.
00:18:59
For sure.
00:19:00
Are you prepared
00:19:01
to have another man walked out and your daughter down the eye.
00:19:04
Yeah.
00:19:04
You're like, that ain't happened.
00:19:06
And that goes into like the why you do things, like, what's your purpose life.
00:19:09
Right?
00:19:10
Like, you have kids.
00:19:10
Like, they should be up there on that list pretty high.
00:19:12
Like
00:19:13
No.
00:19:13
It it but, I mean, to your point about my kids are the reason why I can't work out.
00:19:19
The unspoken resentment also built into that statement.
00:19:23
I mean, that to me is just, brutal.
00:19:26
I'll be the first to admit.
00:19:28
I get the most mad at my daughters when I see behaviors in them that kept me from my goals.
00:19:36
It infuriates me,
00:19:37
but I
00:19:37
can never communicate that to them.
00:19:39
Even even even behaviors I might even have now, where I didn't keep a promise to myself, And
00:19:45
I'm like, I'm trying to change behavior at 39.
00:19:48
They're 9 11 next month.
00:19:51
I catch myself.
00:19:51
I might I just got so upset with her.
00:19:54
She didn't give a promise to herself, but I'm really mad at myself because I had the ice
00:19:58
cream last night for because of whatever else.
00:20:00
And I mad at myself because I didn't give a promise to myself, and if they can start doing
00:20:05
that now at 9, I know how much different their life can be.
00:20:08
But I didn't get upset at her to change her life.
00:20:10
I got mad at her because I saw myself not do this recently.
00:20:15
I've had to catch that so much.
00:20:18
And I can see and my heart breaks for a lot of guys.
00:20:21
I can that, you know, they're either chasing their dreams through their kids.
00:20:24
I got super blessed again that I have daughters, and they don't play sports I play.
00:20:28
You know,
00:20:28
I played football basketball on baseball.
00:20:30
I was really good at baseball and basketball.
00:20:31
And thank goodness.
00:20:32
I don't have I mean, she plays basketball with secondary sport, and I keep telling her, I'm
00:20:36
like, look, Basketball is really simple, especially the youth level.
00:20:41
They have all this AA.
00:20:42
There's this whole circuit going on.
00:20:43
Like, can you shoot It's so simple.
00:20:45
Can you shoot?
00:20:46
Put the
00:20:46
ball in here.
00:20:47
If you can shoot, there's a place for you on every team.
00:20:49
And baseball is the same way.
00:20:51
Again, I don't have some that play in the whole this travel baseball world that's nuts.
00:20:54
Baseball is awesome.
00:20:55
Well, can you hit?
00:20:56
If you can hit, there's a place for you on every team.
00:20:59
I talked to so many parents.
00:21:00
I've trained kids.
00:21:01
I haven't played baseball in 20 years.
00:21:03
I could turn the kid tomorrow.
00:21:04
It's very simple.
00:21:05
Can you hit?
00:21:07
And they've all this it's like, they've turned baseball in, like, the new golf with all these
00:21:10
gimmicks and all this stuff and all this, but, well, I'm like, no.
00:21:12
Get a tea, then do soft sauce, and then do, like, then either do a, you know, a machine or
00:21:17
a live sauce.
00:21:18
Can you hit?
00:21:18
Yes.
00:21:19
Everything else does matter.
00:21:20
If you can smash, there's a place for you.
00:21:22
If you can shoot, Mia, if you can shoot, that ball can go in that bucket.
00:21:26
I don't care what circuit you played on.
00:21:28
You want me to get you can play.
00:21:29
A coach always put a kid in the game.
00:21:31
I can get buckets.
00:21:32
Period.
00:21:33
Cheers a little bit different.
00:21:35
And soccer, I had no idea how technical soccer was.
00:21:39
Holy cow.
00:21:39
I mean, she's a private, she's a private trainer at 9.
00:21:42
I can't teach the technical.
00:21:43
It's not like one basketball on that.
00:21:47
There's definitely some elements in soccer that I can't do, but, man, I'm like, so they don't
00:21:53
play sports that I play, so I don't have to have the whole life.
00:21:55
They're they're reaching my that I didn't get to have.
00:21:58
Thank goodness.
00:21:59
So and my heart breaks for people that are kinda chasing, like
00:22:03
Yeah.
00:22:03
Either dream, you know, literally, their dad dream, their mom's dream, you see that a lot in
00:22:07
the chair world?
00:22:07
Like, how does a kid feel?
00:22:08
Like, I hate this sport, but my dad put me in it because he used to play it.
00:22:11
And, like, everyone expects that I'm gonna be the next whoever.
00:22:14
Right?
00:22:15
Like, that freaking sucks for kids.
00:22:17
Like, and then then then resentment on both sides.
00:22:19
Oh, my kid's not as good as I wanna to be.
00:22:21
So I don't wanna even play this format.
00:22:23
Like, you're just creating a whole, like One
00:22:26
of the one of the roles we have, and they and she I mean, she'll speak up if I talk on a
00:22:30
turn.
00:22:30
The minute that I gotta tell you we have practice.
00:22:34
The minute I gotta be like, yo, let's go to practice, and you're like, add any resistance.
00:22:39
When it's a debt, I had to take that mental note.
00:22:41
Like, something's not the same.
00:22:42
Something's, like, clicking the same.
00:22:43
The path something has changed.
00:22:46
And when I pick you up, if I don't have a if you don't have a smile, like, you just do the
00:22:50
one thing that you tell me you love more than anything else in the world, when I pick you up,
00:22:55
I should be seeing the joy of you doing the thing that you're telling me that you love.
00:23:01
And to their credit, I have never ever ever had to be like, yo, we got practice and then be
00:23:05
like, I don't wanna go today.
00:23:06
So, I mean, again, they're only 911, but they also train 5 to 7 days a week.
00:23:10
So you've had plenty of chances to show like that.
00:23:13
And I I say this publicly to hold myself accountable.
00:23:16
The minute that that changes, we will change.
00:23:18
Would change something.
00:23:19
The minute I I tell her, like, yo, we have training to her credit this last year.
00:23:23
She came to me and said, Can you get a trainer for me?
00:23:29
I don't love our training sessions.
00:23:29
And what I noticed was that they're very, very intense.
00:23:35
Ours are.
00:23:36
And so were her private trainers that it was getting the way of our love.
00:23:40
And we do have rules.
00:23:41
Like, when we get in the car, dad, on the field, coach, And but even that, like, she felt
00:23:47
that boundary was was changing.
00:23:49
She came to me and was like, can you get a, you know, kinda get a trainer?
00:23:52
So I got her 1.
00:23:53
That's cool.
00:23:54
That's yeah.
00:23:55
We've had moments.
00:23:56
We've had to go back to our training sessions, and she's had to earn her trainer back.
00:24:00
And then she did to her credit She had a a rough fall.
00:24:05
And she plays like on a national ranked academy team, but still she had a rough fall.
00:24:09
So I was like, we're gonna go back to our stuff.
00:24:11
Was not a fun 6 weeks, wasn't it?
00:24:16
I'm just speechless.
00:24:18
And then she earned
00:24:18
her turn back.
00:24:19
She never once complained.
00:24:20
Never.
00:24:21
Yeah.
00:24:21
We had a lot of tears, and then she had her turn her back and earn it.
00:24:25
So I think listening is, I mean, there's so much there's so much we can a lot about this,
00:24:29
but I got lucky.
00:24:30
I my heart does I goes out to the guys.
00:24:32
Like, I can see it, man.
00:24:33
Like, they they want it for their kids.
00:24:36
They want it, and, man, it's just hard.
00:24:38
Yeah.
00:24:39
And then you're like, yeah, that creates that whole cycle of chasing your, what we we talk
00:24:45
about.
00:24:45
Like, stop trying to chase your failed dreams, dude, or your kids versus, like, my opinion is,
00:24:51
like, I want my kids to be experience experience every sport.
00:24:53
Try it all, man.
00:24:54
And then, like, something's gonna click.
00:24:56
And if not, if they're in the arts or whatever, like, do whatever fits you're gonna be
00:25:00
physically fit, whether that's, you know, whatever that capacity looks like.
00:25:03
I do think my kids are gonna like sports.
00:25:05
They just are like naturally athletic.
00:25:07
We've talked about this before.
00:25:08
They're You can tell, can't you?
00:25:09
When a kid can run or walk
00:25:11
Yeah.
00:25:11
Dude, I'm Yeah.
00:25:12
You can tell Yeah.
00:25:14
Where kids are gifted.
00:25:15
A 1000%.
00:25:16
I think they should try everything.
00:25:17
I think a parent should it is a parent's duty for you to figure out where your child is great
00:25:24
at, and then what they can offer the world, and then what do they enjoy?
00:25:28
Mhmm.
00:25:29
Right?
00:25:29
Like, that is your job as a parent to help them identify They try everything.
00:25:33
If they're not good, take them out.
00:25:35
Like, I don't there's no no there's no, you know, nobility in poverty that works in
00:25:39
finances, and that works in the things that you you spend your time in life in.
00:25:42
The second thing is if they are good and they enjoy it, it's like, you know, in school, you
00:25:47
get a tutor and a subject that you're not great in, but in sports, you get, you know, a coach
00:25:50
and thing that you are great in.
00:25:52
Like, I'm all about doubling down on strengths and eliminating the things you're you're strong
00:25:55
at.
00:25:55
Like, it was very clear she loves soccer.
00:25:57
She was, we're good at it.
00:25:57
Can we double down on it?
00:25:58
Yeah.
00:25:59
I didn't I didn't need you to do I I needed to do ballet.
00:26:02
Yeah.
00:26:02
At that point, we knew.
00:26:03
Yeah.
00:26:04
So her her sister tried a few other things.
00:26:06
We figured out what she was good in.
00:26:07
We figured out what she was great in.
00:26:08
Yeah.
00:26:09
We're doubling down on it.
00:26:10
Try it.
00:26:10
And if you don't like it, it's out.
00:26:12
Go.
00:26:12
Yeah.
00:26:12
Like
00:26:13
Yeah.
00:26:13
The amount of people that have their daughter in dance because, like, they they should they
00:26:17
should be in dance at 5, and 6, and 7.
00:26:20
I'm like, do daughter hate I can tell.
00:26:22
Like, and I we're three thousand miles apart.
00:26:23
I'm like, on Instagram.
00:26:24
I can tell she doesn't like, dance dude.
00:26:26
Like, stop.
00:26:27
You wanting to be a dance mom.
00:26:28
Like, she might be an amazing artist.
00:26:30
Her her goal, when she told you what her dreams were, they wanted to play professional soccer.
00:26:34
Do you notice that?
00:26:35
Yeah.
00:26:35
She wants to be a DJ.
00:26:37
I'm I'm super down with that.
00:26:40
Like, you wanna, like, you wanna have a, you know, a a an art?
00:26:43
Like, let's go.
00:26:44
I'm completely down.
00:26:45
I don't think, man, I mean, I'm hot on that topic.
00:26:48
Like, put your incentive for success.
00:26:50
But it's also, like, now is the time to play soccer.
00:26:53
At this age, right, and you can because, like, eventually, I mean, and even forever, if you
00:26:57
love soccer, you could play rec soccer as long as you want.
00:27:00
Right?
00:27:00
You stay healthy and fit.
00:27:01
I play Reck, we play rec basketball pickup.
00:27:03
Like, I won't tryna get back into playing lacrosse.
00:27:05
It's just been a while, but, like, you can do that.
00:27:08
Right?
00:27:08
So it's like, but maybe that's not necessarily your profession,
00:27:11
which is why it's gonna
00:27:12
have that that mindset of, like, there's other things that I need to focus on as well.
00:27:16
Right?
00:27:16
That makes my reading.
00:27:18
The ice cream shop business, you know, all that stuff.
00:27:20
And it's
00:27:21
Dude, it's fortunately the best thing about my daughter.
00:27:23
I have failed.
00:27:24
Yeah.
00:27:24
Nice.
00:27:25
1000%.
00:27:26
Have y'all seen the movie, King Richard?
00:27:28
I thought Guinness and Williams that
00:27:30
I didn't know he was wild.
00:27:31
You well, yes, it but it's wild.
00:27:34
So so watch it tonight.
00:27:35
Immediately, for sure, for 1.
00:27:37
Because everyone knows that he trained super, super hard, but what people didn't know before
00:27:41
that movie was that He was obsessed with protecting their youth.
00:27:47
He was obsessed with protecting their childhood.
00:27:49
They're little girls.
00:27:50
Mhmm.
00:27:50
They're girls.
00:27:51
A good Disneyland.
00:27:52
After tournaments, they weren't allowed to talk about tenants in the car.
00:27:56
Like, no.
00:27:56
Like, you're and he said they're they are followers of Christ first.
00:28:00
Great people second.
00:28:02
There are students 3rd.
00:28:03
And being a tennis player is a 4th best thing that they do in life.
00:28:05
And he was adamant on this.
00:28:06
And I was like, dude, this is amazing.
00:28:08
Like, these are the 2 best of all time.
00:28:10
Serena is the best of all time.
00:28:12
Yeah.
00:28:12
And his whole thing was the reason they didn't do the youth circuit was because the children
00:28:17
So he trained them like crazy, but he protected their youth.
00:28:21
And as a dad who has little daughters that are on this crazy youth circuit, that hit me so
00:28:27
hard.
00:28:28
Like, hit the biggest lessons he taught them were on humility, and we respect all of our
00:28:36
they went out.
00:28:37
They trained just as hard as you did.
00:28:38
They they competed just as hard as you did, and you won, and you give all the glory to
00:28:44
who, God.
00:28:45
Thank you.
00:28:46
And we are, you know, humble and everything.
00:28:48
I I am like, I can't preach this movie enough.
00:28:51
I would expect him to go watch the story of him being crazy, which he is.
00:28:54
Yeah.
00:28:55
But all the other lessons, though, were like Yeah.
00:28:58
Dude, they were so dull.
00:28:59
It's great.
00:29:00
I should
00:29:00
be able to fill you for that I'm all I'm, yeah, I'm telling a story now.
00:29:04
Yeah.
00:29:04
I'll probably watch it now because he used to.
00:29:06
It's a good one.
00:29:07
You definitely you definitely, he just I I think it's a way to approach things.
00:29:11
But, I mean, he the the intel that he had as far as where, like, his mindset was, even Earl
00:29:16
Wood, He had this, like, silent assassination of what he was doing with Tiger Woods.
00:29:21
Yeah.
00:29:21
Granted, it probably wasn't approached the same way, nearly and the influence of Christ.
00:29:26
But, like, that is what kind of, like, forced that it, like, Tiger Woods to be the way Tiger
00:29:31
Woods is today, is to be, like, that element of greatness that came out to him was this, like,
00:29:36
kind of warrior mindset that he was, like, building within him, which is something similar
00:29:40
that King Richard did too.
00:29:42
Like, he was building in this.
00:29:44
The one cool thing that I think Serena's been able to do well is like this detachment,
00:29:49
though, from Like, she she could detach really well because, like, maybe it was because Venus
00:29:55
was making more of the pressure as, like, Venus was coming up the ranks.
00:29:59
Whereas Serena was just like, she was allowed to be a little bit more free with herself.
00:30:03
And then, like, obviously, she surpassed Venus and became the grand all time.
00:30:08
Well, there's a cool scene, though, at the very end of the movie where Venus goes pro.
00:30:12
It's our very first pro tournament.
00:30:15
Serena is, like, staring at the court And she's upset because, like, her dad won't let her go
00:30:20
pro, and she's only twelve at the time.
00:30:21
So Venus was fourteen when she went pro, and she barely lost the number one ranked point
00:30:25
played her in the at the time.
00:30:27
And he walks over to her, and and Serena has said this is exactly how it happened too.
00:30:31
And he was like, I know you're upset.
00:30:34
And he said, I had to let Venus go first.
00:30:37
I had to let her go first.
00:30:38
She will be the number one ranked player in the world.
00:30:40
And Sabrina's upset, and he goes, because you're gonna be the greatest of all time.
00:30:45
And if I don't let her go first, she'll never get to be number 1.
00:30:49
And it was like Venus had the mindset of, like, she had the mindset of breaking the barrier.
00:30:53
She had the mindset of being the youngest.
00:30:54
She was built for all those things.
00:30:57
And it was, like, this brilliance of he knew that she could be the greatest and that she
00:31:01
deserved to be the greatest because without Serena, Venus is all who is all is all who we
00:31:05
talk about.
00:31:06
Yeah.
00:31:06
It's like it's like the story of Jesse Owens.
00:31:10
Like, you also realize when Jesse Owens broke the the the record, right, in the Olympics,
00:31:15
that his teammate also broke the record.
00:31:18
You don't know who his teammate was, do you?
00:31:21
Because he broke it a little bit better than Right?
00:31:23
What was crazy about just about Jesse Owens's teammate is Jesse owned his teammate had a
00:31:27
famous brother.
00:31:28
So Jesse Holland's teammate was Jackie Robinson's
00:31:32
brother.
00:31:34
So his brother is breaking the color barrier for the Brooklyn Dodgers, most arguably one of
00:31:39
the most top 5 most famous baseball players of all time, and his teammate is Jesse Owens.
00:31:44
Jackie Robinson's brother went on to be a janitor at USC.
00:31:48
Isn't that wild?
00:31:50
You were the you were literally you would be Jesse Owens, a a black guy breaking all the
00:31:55
color barriers, all the everything.
00:31:57
He was a tenth of a second slower than Jesse Owens.
00:32:00
And he was Jackie Robinson's brother.
00:32:01
He never heard about him.
00:32:03
Like, it that's, like, that's so wild.
00:32:06
Right?
00:32:06
That's a cool story.
00:32:07
Like, would you imagine being, like, that's who your brother.
00:32:10
Like, that's your and so the whole idea though is, like, he was, you know, Richard William was
00:32:15
crazy when it came to, like, he knew that if you guys had to go
00:32:18
You
00:32:19
didn't say go first.
00:32:19
You you would never know who she was.
00:32:21
See.
00:32:22
That, to me, is something like that's some wild foresight.
00:32:26
How do I do that with twins now though?
00:32:28
It's, like,
00:32:29
which one?
00:32:29
Because I'm good.
00:32:30
Yeah.
00:32:30
It's interesting though, like, from a parent perspective, we're coming back to this parent's
00:32:34
sake topic.
00:32:35
I love this.
00:32:35
But I
00:32:36
Well, so you know why though?
00:32:37
You know what?
00:32:37
You know what?
00:32:38
We can't you came on back to this?
00:32:39
Yeah.
00:32:39
Because parents are lazy, man.
00:32:43
I'll get I'll go off on this one.
00:32:44
Let's go.
00:32:45
Because no.
00:32:45
No.
00:32:45
We're talking about it because it means so much to us because we also just give a shit.
00:32:48
I'm sorry.
00:32:49
I'll run spreads.
00:32:50
But, like, I, like, no.
00:32:52
Parents are lazy, dude.
00:32:53
If you pay attention to your kids, they'll tell you everything.
00:32:55
They'll tell you everything.
00:32:56
I knew last night something was off I could have gotten pissed with her.
00:32:59
I could have put her and time out whatever else.
00:33:00
She's being a little bit disrespectful and respect is super high in our house.
00:33:04
Like, pay attention to your kids.
00:33:05
They will tell you everything.
00:33:07
Yeah.
00:33:08
Well, babies, babies, they only cry when they're tired when they poop themselves or if
00:33:13
they're hungry.
00:33:13
That's it.
00:33:14
They don't cry for anything else.
00:33:15
Just pay attention.
00:33:16
Like, well, they're eating or not.
00:33:18
Like, is having babies isn't hard?
00:33:20
Pay attention.
00:33:21
It's actually the easiest part, I think.
00:33:22
Yeah.
00:33:22
For sure.
00:33:23
Toddlers can't communicate.
00:33:25
They're the easiest to communicate with because since we're adults, you know, how to, and they
00:33:29
literally can't.
00:33:30
When I try to decipher it, they just throw a fit or not.
00:33:33
Yeah.
00:33:34
Super simple to know when they're unhappy.
00:33:35
Yeah.
00:33:36
It's only when they get older and we think they communicate where things can actually get
00:33:39
tougher.
00:33:40
Parents are lazy, man.
00:33:41
Why we keep coming back to this.
00:33:42
That's why I get so wrapped up on it.
00:33:44
Get this a good parallel in foresight that kind of came out of the conversation well, but when
00:33:49
you were talking about as you break down things like whether it be in business, whatever it is,
00:33:54
right, you can do things like in a pattern.
00:33:57
Of, like, for business, like, how you're doubling down on who you need to sell to.
00:34:02
Right?
00:34:02
Well, then, yeah, I need to get to that person.
00:34:05
I can't do the math.
00:34:06
And what does that do then?
00:34:08
That mitigates risk.
00:34:09
Right?
00:34:09
You kind of know the outcome before when you started because you're building that system
00:34:13
associated And I always even go back to, like, with kids.
00:34:16
Right?
00:34:17
What are the, like, those systems that you're putting in place to mitigate the risk of what
00:34:21
that kid is gonna perceive when they're 26, 26 years old.
00:34:24
Talk about this all the time because I have 3 girls.
00:34:27
So, like, Maya, like, how like, what example are you setting here?
00:34:32
The system.
00:34:32
So that
00:34:33
the the systems that you're making so that her decision making power at 25 is gonna be like,
00:34:39
oh, the guy that I wanna marry, well, can't not him, not him, because she has a lens of, like,
00:34:46
how you essentially mitigated that risk because you knew the outcome.
00:34:49
Like, the outcome, if you could build those systems in place that are so strong and so
00:34:54
deep, you can have a really strong control of what that child is actually gonna, like, be
00:35:00
like, what decisions they're gonna make.
00:35:02
Right, by the actions that you make today.
00:35:04
I I couldn't agree more, man.
00:35:06
We I parent, again, it's what I call a baseline and not and not every single action.
00:35:09
So what I mean by that is When we say love kindness and respect, everything they do needs
00:35:13
to be either loving, kind, or respectful.
00:35:15
And that isn't it's it's truly because, well, they're not with no time.
00:35:19
They're only with me half And how do my parent behave?
00:35:21
I'm not even around.
00:35:22
And so, it's super simple.
00:35:24
I don't say like, oh, don't do this.
00:35:25
Don't do that.
00:35:26
Do this and do that.
00:35:27
That's you parenting every action.
00:35:29
In their head, how do they say it like, wait, what's the, what's the correlation between
00:35:33
these 2 actions?
00:35:34
And what's the correlation between these 2 actions?
00:35:35
They can't do So it's very simple.
00:35:37
Have a boundary, have a baseline.
00:35:38
Hey, was it loving?
00:35:39
Was it kind or was it respectful?
00:35:40
And the answer is no to all three of them.
00:35:42
We shouldn't do it.
00:35:43
That's a very simple baseline.
00:35:44
And it's only 1 to 3.
00:35:46
We ask questions about it, and then we aim for 2 out of 3.
00:35:50
They can process that.
00:35:52
That to me is that's what I learned was like, alright, so that makes sense.
00:35:55
Also, I'm not some Savant, like, learn things from people, Right?
00:36:00
No one, no good athletes that I know how to play basketball, so I'm gonna be a great
00:36:04
basketball player.
00:36:05
I'm
00:36:05
gonna go off coaches.
00:36:06
Parenting is no different.
00:36:08
Like, I, I battle with my sister over this.
00:36:11
Like, she's gonna be the world's greatest parent on her own.
00:36:13
I'm like, No, you have a really how to control dollar.
00:36:16
Like, I don't wanna tell you this.
00:36:17
Like, go learn from people.
00:36:18
Man, I have nothing I've said today was a was an organic or unique thought.
00:36:22
Yeah.
00:36:22
I've
00:36:22
learned all of this from people of, like, watching this, like, pick things up on.
00:36:27
Yeah.
00:36:27
And if you care, like, you're gonna be passionate about it, right?
00:36:30
Like, I'm passionate about fitness.
00:36:30
I'm passionate about health.
00:36:32
But lately, I've been on, like, I see my kids growing, and I see that they're at a pivotal
00:36:35
age for me to make implementations that are gonna set them up for how they're gonna be as
00:36:40
human beings.
00:36:41
And so my passion lies in that.
00:36:43
And that's why I'm reading that book and that's why I'm studying all these things and already
00:36:46
looking at schools and and paths that they're gonna, you know, be enrolled in and stuff like
00:36:50
that.
00:36:50
It's because, like, if I do nothing else well in my life, if I can give these kids a good
00:36:56
foundation and then then, you know, they're good humans, god loving humans, then that's,
00:37:00
I'm good.
00:37:01
Well, I'll I'll go one further.
00:37:02
Yeah.
00:37:03
Matt and I need you.
00:37:05
To double down on what you're doing because we need di's for our daughters to marry.
00:37:10
I already know Enzo's gonna marry Melita.
00:37:12
They're already loved.
00:37:13
And what
00:37:13
I see
00:37:14
this though is that I say this so seriously.
00:37:17
I had a boy, I had a buddy of mine.
00:37:19
It's in my small group, and he said this.
00:37:21
And I was like, dude, any I think he said that Tongan Xi kinda emailed me, like, how we are.
00:37:24
And we were joking.
00:37:25
I was like, woah.
00:37:25
Hold on.
00:37:26
I said that again.
00:37:26
I don't know.
00:37:27
Like, because your twins are 3, and they're gonna have friends who are 3, but those their
00:37:33
friends will be the youngest.
00:37:34
And they might have, like, a nine and twelve year old sibling.
00:37:36
It's like, I knee I need you to raise your sons a certain way.
00:37:41
Because they're gonna impact kids who have who are gonna have brothers who are gonna impact
00:37:45
kids.
00:37:45
Like, I need, like, who is she gonna marry?
00:37:47
Because the goal isn't for her to marry someone like me.
00:37:50
Right.
00:37:50
So I'm super flawed.
00:37:51
The girl, the goal is for her to marry somebody who has a heart after god's heart.
00:37:56
And I hope that she sees anything in me not all my not all the the singular things or none of
00:38:01
the minutiae is at the end of the day, did my dad have a heart that chased god's own heart?
00:38:05
It's it's just what day.
00:38:06
In the in the Bible, David was a super flawed person.
00:38:09
We highlight this guy.
00:38:10
I understand.
00:38:11
David wanted to hook up with a girl.
00:38:13
So we sent her husband a ward, had him killed.
00:38:15
And yet, we haven't gotten a pet cool.
00:38:17
Right?
00:38:18
Like, not a great dude all the time.
00:38:20
The one thing he did better than anyone biblically was he repented genuine He was
00:38:26
genuinely sorry for things.
00:38:27
I don't think his men were our
00:38:29
verse.
00:38:29
So we've always been excused.
00:38:30
Yeah.
00:38:31
Genuinely, repenting, and he continuously chased god's own heart.
00:38:35
That's the goal.
00:38:37
Yeah.
00:38:37
That's the goal.
00:38:38
Like, the and I've told me this, like, if if a if a boy is not continuously chasing god's
00:38:43
heart, that that is the yes or no.
00:38:47
Like, it's that simple because I don't play the drums.
00:38:50
I'm not an artist.
00:38:51
So I don't need him to be an athlete like me.
00:38:53
I don't need him to look and act by what I do.
00:38:57
You know, he might be from you know, he might be from somewhere else.
00:39:01
Yeah.
00:39:02
He might he might be from North Dakota and play the drums.
00:39:05
That's nothing like your dad.
00:39:06
I don't even I don't need her to find someone like me.
00:39:09
I need need her to find someone that chases god's own heart.
00:39:11
I need guys like you raising sons that will chase god's own heart.
00:39:15
I mean, that's so seriously.
00:39:17
There are not enough guys and this is going to probably ruffle some feathers.
00:39:21
I see more girl dads raising strong girls than I see boy dads raising strong men.
00:39:27
Yeah.
00:39:28
Like, I I see it tenfold, and I'm like, dude, I they got no one to marry.
00:39:34
Like, I
00:39:34
need I need I need somebody to go to, like, raise some strong men because I need I need
00:39:37
someone eventually, like, to also walk to when I when I walk around the house, she's
00:39:42
been going to somebody.
00:39:43
The god fearing alpha now, bro.
00:39:45
That's just, like, the person that's coming, bro.
00:39:46
Yeah.
00:39:47
There's nothing more off there's nothing more alpha than fearing god.
00:39:51
Yeah.
00:39:51
I'm sorry.
00:39:52
Which I also think we've completely like everything that'd be super strong and and
00:39:55
everything is is hyper I'm like, the strongest form of masculinity is protecting a feminine's,
00:40:03
a feminine woman's safety, which is actually very soft.
00:40:07
In having the humility to fear something greater than you, which you fear in god.
00:40:10
Yeah.
00:40:11
Yeah.
00:40:12
That's my soapbox.
00:40:13
I I'm I'm I'm super passionate about a few of these topics.
00:40:17
Yeah.
00:40:17
No.
00:40:17
I I I
00:40:18
think this is all great,
00:40:19
and I know that
00:40:20
that was actually something I was talking to our producer, Jake, about a little bit earlier
00:40:24
today.
00:40:24
It serves
00:40:24
up just that how we perceive the conversations that we're having even around like Mandeville.
00:40:32
But yeah, it's it's one of the the I feel like the out most alpha things you can do is be
00:40:39
kingdom focus number 1, but then also be shredded number 2.
00:40:44
I hear you.
00:40:45
Like, I actually genuinely enjoy that, like, protecting my body.
00:40:48
And this is the reason.
00:40:49
So there there's there's actually a thought process behind this, right, because I believe
00:40:54
that the temple that I live in right now that god's given me just as the shell before I'm at,
00:40:59
like, I go home, right, is that this is what he's given me.
00:41:03
This is what he's absolutely given me.
00:41:05
And I can have, like, absolute confidence that I am stepping into the father because I'm
00:41:11
protecting what he gave me this time.
00:41:13
Right?
00:41:14
And so I truly believe into that.
00:41:16
And so now then that gives me this authority.
00:41:20
And one thing I appreciated by my Maya, right?
00:41:22
Because I
00:41:22
know what?
00:41:23
Mia,
00:41:24
sorry, dude.
00:41:25
Is, is she'll walk at she walk up with a strong handshake.
00:41:30
Dude, there's dying.
00:41:31
Guys right now that have, like, these dead fish handshakes.
00:41:34
And I was like, what is going on in the world where, like, people can't look in your eyes
00:41:39
come in for, like, a strong handshake and just be Uber, Uber, confident in themselves that,
00:41:43
hey, man, I did what I need to do today, right?
00:41:45
And that was number 1 in the morning.
00:41:47
Did you get a and spend time in the word.
00:41:49
I know you you know, Alfie's doing this.
00:41:51
Just getting up.
00:41:52
Let your nose be nose.
00:41:54
Like, he tells me no all the time.
00:41:55
Hey, you wanna do this in the morning?
00:41:56
No, man.
00:41:57
I'm getting up in set an hour in the word.
00:41:59
And I'm like, how awesome is that?
00:42:00
Alright.
00:42:01
Cool.
00:42:01
I'll back off of that.
00:42:02
But, like, then this element of how much power that brings you to now
00:42:09
I have a wife in my household.
00:42:10
Right?
00:42:10
I have so much power over my household, like, literally that I can do for good, right?
00:42:19
But so many guys are taking this, like, maybe alpha, which I think it's a super soft alpha
00:42:25
and using it for bad, right?
00:42:27
For sure.
00:42:27
And so I come in, like, you know, I'm I'm not gonna lie.
00:42:31
I think it's really important to be shredded.
00:42:33
I think it's really important to spend time in the word because that gives me this, like, I'm
00:42:39
gonna call it dominance in my household.
00:42:41
Like, I am the alpha in my house but I do it for good.
00:42:44
Right?
00:42:45
Mhmm.
00:42:45
And it's how we interpret that now in this world of, like, what what I am raising?
00:42:49
How am I how am I modeling my relationship with my marriage?
00:42:53
In front of my girls, but, like, I come in with a lot of power, and it's now how I'm utilizing
00:42:59
that power for the, you know, for the for good.
00:43:02
And I think as a girl that I think it's really, really important because I think body image is
00:43:06
a very big topic with with young women.
00:43:09
And we talk about food in our body all the time.
00:43:12
And they're, you know, hardeners that are built very, very different.
00:43:15
They're both bite sized.
00:43:16
They're super tiny.
00:43:17
She's real thin.
00:43:18
Her sister's butt like a dump truck.
00:43:20
I joke about it.
00:43:20
I'm like, she's at 6 pack abs.
00:43:22
She shredded and she has legs on the door, like, like, striations, like, she's she's
00:43:28
growing into, like, her womanhood.
00:43:30
I could tell you, if so, if didn't, like, protect her diet, she would, she would put
00:43:35
weight on for sure.
00:43:36
She's a athlete that trains 7 days a week.
00:43:39
She also plays La Crosse, life, which is a rads for it by the way.
00:43:42
It's a really sick sport.
00:43:44
I'm like, no, no, you need food because you've gotta fuel this body.
00:43:47
And, you
00:43:47
know, you're gonna fuel 2 kinds of ways.
00:43:49
Like, you're gonna you're gonna fuel this body with things that are not gonna help each year
00:43:52
and not help you play lacrosse, you're gonna you're gonna fuel this body with things that
00:43:56
are gonna make you an absolutely awesome, awesome athlete.
00:43:59
And, you know, typically our bodies are living sacrifice.
00:44:01
So I can't show my daughters the sacrifices that I make.
00:44:06
But and especially with raising athletes, you've got us at the example.
00:44:10
I mean and then with her, like, her keeping weight on her is like super hard.
00:44:15
I'm going for 2 ballroom this morning.
00:44:17
So, like, her thing for breakfast, she has these protein shakes, like, every morning.
00:44:20
We made we made it a fun thing.
00:44:22
She gets the ghost protein because the ghost is fun for her and they have all these fun
00:44:25
flavors.
00:44:26
I'm like, look, for me, my protein matters and like, I don't fillers and all my protein and
00:44:30
that kind of stuff.
00:44:31
Like, I'm trying to get calories in her that are better than garbage calories.
00:44:34
And so, like, I'm not as obsessed with the fillers right now with all our stuff.
00:44:38
And Better than a lot of other stuff,
00:44:39
I think.
00:44:40
No.
00:44:40
It's like, look, like, volume is super, super important.
00:44:43
So you can either set the example for your daughter, or you can be like, well, they're
00:44:47
girls and then we give them all of this freedom because we don't wanna hurt their feelings.
00:44:51
I hope I hurt their feelings about some stuff.
00:44:54
Because the consequence is gonna crush their his fatherhood, dude.
00:44:58
You, of course.
00:44:58
Yeah.
00:44:59
And you communicated a way that's not shaming.
00:45:01
Like, oh, if you eat that, you're gonna be fat.
00:45:02
It's like, no.
00:45:03
Is that gonna is that gonna serve your goals?
00:45:05
Like, that's what I think about when I eat food, really, and maybe I'm freaking nuts first
00:45:09
saying that, but it's like, is that serving
00:45:11
me right now?
00:45:11
Like, I'm not I don't drink right I'm just in a phase of my life where I'm not drinking.
00:45:15
I say no to drinks all the time.
00:45:16
It's like, it's not serving me.
00:45:17
I get up at 5 AM every morning.
00:45:18
If I have a drink, it's gonna throw my whole thing off is a krispy kreme doughnut gonna
00:45:23
serve my goals?
00:45:24
No.
00:45:24
Right?
00:45:24
So, like, if you just think of that way, like, a or b, it's yes or no, then, like,
00:45:31
percent now.
00:45:31
I I actually think drinking is gonna be the new cigarettes.
00:45:33
I'm kinda big on this right now too.
00:45:35
I do too.
00:45:36
I I really agree with that.
00:45:37
What did you say?
00:45:38
Drinking is like the With the new cigarettes.
00:45:41
Maybe it's not that cool.
00:45:42
My daughter will tell you, I think me could probably tell you the number of times you've
00:45:45
ever seen me have 2 drinks.
00:45:47
She's never seen you have more than 2.
00:45:49
Like, I don't Yeah.
00:45:51
I was raised in a house with a pretty super alcoholic.
00:45:53
It's, like, I I also have the downside of what this looks like.
00:45:56
Right.
00:45:56
Man, the the I love that that no drinking movement is is not taking off.
00:46:01
Like, I think it's super here.
00:46:03
And if I never have a drink again in my I I wouldn't I wouldn't think twice about it.
00:46:08
I'm really big on that one.
00:46:10
I agree.
00:46:11
We had a friend and and guy come on our show, Jake Campbell, when he talked about your
00:46:14
letting kind of your spiritual guard down a little bit.
00:46:17
Like, if your brain and your mind gets a little
00:46:19
Not a little bit.
00:46:20
Yeah.
00:46:20
For sure.
00:46:21
You're you're lowering that that door that you can let darkness, demonic, whatever you wanna
00:46:25
call it in and influence your decisions in negative ways.
00:46:28
Like, why do guys getting fights when they're drunk?
00:46:30
Right?
00:46:30
Like, did they go out there thinking I'm just gonna fight people tonight.
00:46:33
Yeah.
00:46:33
So you know, you get drunk and now there's that that whatever it is, energy in you and somebody
00:46:38
says something wrong.
00:46:39
Now you're fighting in a bar and you're a good man.
00:46:41
Right?
00:46:41
Like, it's like crazy.
00:46:42
Man, if you believe in spiritual warfare, which is a whole separate conversation, dude, you
00:46:46
believe in spiritual warfare,
00:46:48
you're opening a door Yeah.
00:46:50
I mean, that is what we battle against.
00:46:51
Right?
00:46:51
That's yeah.
00:46:52
Yeah.
00:46:53
I think, yeah, I'm a big believer and I I even posted that on Facebook.
00:46:57
There's a couple things I, like, tested out.
00:47:00
I had 3 kind of like in my mind, this large, like, gray area items because I'm, like,
00:47:04
pushing out all this positive I was like, let's put some push something out this little testy.
00:47:08
One of them was, like, about alcohol and how it, like, basically takes on a demonic force
00:47:13
man.
00:47:14
People were lighting it up.
00:47:15
Like, oh, no.
00:47:16
It doesn't.
00:47:16
I just enjoy it.
00:47:17
I'm like, okay.
00:47:18
Yeah.
00:47:19
Here's one dude that literally said this.
00:47:21
He said a comment and I knew the dude had diabetes.
00:47:24
Like, he has diabetes.
00:47:25
Like, type 2 diabetes.
00:47:26
I'm like, dude, like, why are you arguing this?
00:47:29
Like, this is not, like, good for you at all.
00:47:31
Yeah.
00:47:32
The way people perceive things of, like, again, just that level of improvement, do you wanna
00:47:36
get better?
00:47:36
Does it serve you just to get
00:47:37
a little bit better?
00:47:38
I got a question for you, Carl, and I'm looking forward to the answer to this.
00:47:42
And yeah, you can chime in too.
00:47:44
On this show, we talk about living full fueled.
00:47:45
That's our brand.
00:47:46
That's our lifestyle, right, fully fueled in all areas of life.
00:47:50
Our 6 pillars are fuel, movement, sleep, mind, spirit, and purpose, or work, right, like what
00:47:56
do you do?
00:47:57
What does that look like for you and your family and you personally business anything
00:48:01
that you just run with it?
00:48:03
Yeah.
00:48:03
That's a great that's a great question.
00:48:06
I have thought a lot about legacy and what does legacy mean recently for sure.
00:48:12
My life, you know, once I got divorced.
00:48:16
I was a big software executive.
00:48:18
I was making, you know, all the money I could've, I could've wanted, 7 years later,
00:48:21
losing that And, look, I've had, I've had a car towed out of my driveway before.
00:48:27
Like, when I say losing it, I've lost it, for sure, went from like a big beautiful house, you
00:48:32
know, to a townhouse, And the house that, you know, we live in now, the small three bedroom,
00:48:40
one and a half bath, it's like 1400 square feet.
00:48:43
And I've always viewed this house as this massive failure.
00:48:47
I got a twelve year old, you know, Acura MDX, I had this big beautiful, you know, Denali.
00:48:54
And I had this life that I thought with everything you were supposed to have.
00:49:00
I had the marriage.
00:49:01
And, you know, to this day, I'll never know why it didn't work.
00:49:05
It wasn't some, like, abuse or infidelity.
00:49:10
But what I do know is that I wasn't doom and God wanted me to do.
00:49:15
He took it, he took it away.
00:49:16
And I know guys that are in the mid-40s that lose it all, and that crash looks a whole
00:49:20
hours.
00:49:21
Because now they're like, oh, I wish I back and have a relationship with my kids now, or I wish
00:49:24
I could go back and do things, and so he took it all away from me early.
00:49:30
And I would say it's been about the last year, even just a year where I asked the girls now
00:49:37
and immediately right here.
00:49:38
I'm like, do you wanna move out of the house, or do you wanna stay in the house?
00:49:41
Stay in the house.
00:49:42
Like, they love our house.
00:49:45
Like, do you love our car or do you want a new car?
00:49:47
No.
00:49:47
I wanna keep our car.
00:49:48
What do you call it?
00:49:49
What's what's the car's new name?
00:49:50
Avocado.
00:49:51
No idea what?
00:49:52
They called the wrong house.
00:49:54
And it, and it really the first time I said that, I got looking at houses in in Jersey, you
00:50:01
know, it's especially where we live in my house.
00:50:03
I did.
00:50:03
They're insane.
00:50:04
It's insane.
00:50:05
Like there's there's nowhere for us to come if we wanted to.
00:50:08
But I'm like, wait, y'all love this house.
00:50:10
And you love this card.
00:50:11
And I'm like, why?
00:50:12
Like, it could be in this house, and this is a long answer, like, everything else I get
00:50:16
answers to.
00:50:18
This house is encapsulated, encapsulated, love.
00:50:22
It's encapsulated, kindness.
00:50:23
It's encapsulated respect.
00:50:25
Our our core values.
00:50:26
We have our core values.
00:50:27
It's encapsulated what living a life for Christ really actually looks looks like.
00:50:33
And it isn't the big house.
00:50:34
Dan and Shane, the country, you know, artists.
00:50:36
They have a they have a song right now called bigger houses.
00:50:38
And it's like, love isn't found in a bigger house.
00:50:41
Right?
00:50:41
It's like, what does the house actually look like?
00:50:43
Yeah.
00:50:43
And it's sort of a really hard thing for me to accept, like, love and success and legacy look
00:50:49
like our house right now.
00:50:51
Awesome.
00:50:51
It's it isn't the big house that I had.
00:50:53
And it's not, yes.
00:50:54
Do I want, like, you know, the new F One Fifty?
00:50:57
I do.
00:50:58
But that's what that's just that's strictly me.
00:51:02
And I think you should have one desires and one desires.
00:51:05
But when it comes to, like, what's like life and what's the purpose of it.
00:51:09
All all of those things to me are just a framework that will lead you to a life that's
00:51:16
fulfilled and has purpose and has legacy.
00:51:20
And, you know, my daughters, they, they, like, always do, they, they check me, in this idea.
00:51:25
Like, we need a different house.
00:51:27
Like, they like, that house exemplifies everything that I would want them to actually
00:51:33
admire in life.
00:51:34
Like, it exemplifies what love looks like.
00:51:36
It exemplifies what god looks like.
00:51:38
That's where they've learned the word.
00:51:40
And I'm like, why do I want an Those are all the things that I actually want my daughters.
00:51:45
Like, really, the legacy is what happens when we're gone.
00:51:47
It's when we pass down.
00:51:48
Yeah.
00:51:48
Something material things.
00:51:49
It's like, what stays with them?
00:51:51
Like, what will my grandkids know?
00:51:53
Yeah.
00:51:53
Yeah.
00:51:53
Okay.
00:51:54
So I, if I pass down, you know, a bunch of money, they'll know what trust them.
00:51:57
They'll not they'll to learn all the dollar who'll never know me.
00:52:00
Right.
00:52:01
So what are the stories that get told about me?
00:52:03
And they're learning those stories, even though I didn't want to know they were attached to the
00:52:07
house in the car.
00:52:08
Like, that's where all these things have, like, been embedded in them.
00:52:11
I'll give you a really good story about the faith part of this Valentine's Day.
00:52:15
February 14th of 2020.
00:52:17
So right before that pandemic hits.
00:52:19
My best friend's dad passes away.
00:52:21
Now if you think about your best friend's parents, like, oh, I I've grown in my whole
00:52:25
life.
00:52:26
But you knew him as a kid with adult relationship.
00:52:28
So you didn't know anything about him, actually.
00:52:30
Right?
00:52:31
It seemed like an adult with adult relationship, but I know a whole different
00:52:34
actual person than, like, a child.
00:52:36
So I didn't know anything about Jerry.
00:52:38
Yeah.
00:52:38
But I thought I'd have to enjoy my whole life.
00:52:40
So as my best friend's dad, I fly down to Houston, Texas for the funeral.
00:52:45
I get there and there's four hundred people at his funeral.
00:52:48
Whole entire church as well, and they're probably way more than four hundred.
00:52:50
And I'm like, and yes, like, is he in the same time that he kind of grew up in shirt?
00:52:54
And, like, Did he have the story from being the stock witness CEO of his company?
00:52:58
Yes.
00:52:59
But even to that Yeah.
00:53:00
Like, we filled a whole church up for your funeral.
00:53:03
Like, what kind of impact did you actually have?
00:53:06
In the stories of people, as they would get up and they would talk about them, weren't stories
00:53:11
of like He was a great friend and he was a philanthropist.
00:53:15
Every story was a god story.
00:53:16
I knew my whole life, and I'm like, I didn't know this.
00:53:19
And as he was on his deathbed in his house, he would write scripture, like, on the walls, and
00:53:25
he had a lot of influence because he was, like, born and raised in the same town.
00:53:28
But he had far more impact.
00:53:30
And that's, you know, my my branding on my on my company is impact over influence.
00:53:34
Yeah.
00:53:35
I can I I have influence?
00:53:36
I'm an influence server.
00:53:37
That kind of stuff.
00:53:38
But, like, am I leaving impact or not?
00:53:39
Yes or no?
00:53:40
Very binary.
00:53:41
And listening to his god stories.
00:53:43
And I'm like, he he had impacted people's lives.
00:53:47
I remember being in church and praying that day and be like, God, I can't die today.
00:53:51
I don't knowing if I die today, the story is about me,
00:53:54
the day
00:53:54
would be nice.
00:53:55
He's a
00:53:55
great friend.
00:53:56
He's a good son.
00:53:56
He didn't do anything wrong.
00:53:58
He donated, but not one person would be a good god story.
00:54:01
I
00:54:01
didn't bring one person that gets no price.
00:54:03
I didn't Nothing.
00:54:05
I had no boss stories.
00:54:06
I remember so vividly being in that church and being like, I cannot die today.
00:54:10
Mhmm.
00:54:10
Because I would have I haven't led anybody to you.
00:54:14
And so when I think of sleep and the health and the wealth and the fitness and the spiritual,
00:54:19
all of these things, it all boils down to am am I being obedient to god's plan?
00:54:26
Am I listening to god's plan for me is my legacy in my daughters and then and then their
00:54:32
family is going to be was I am man that chased god's own heart.
00:54:36
And god forbid whenever that day comes and I pass, are there going to be people that are
00:54:41
gonna stand up and say, you know, I I his actions led to how I No.
00:54:48
No.
00:54:48
Christ.
00:54:48
I I I'll never forget being in that church and being like, how are all hunting buddy?
00:54:54
They're not hunting for together.
00:54:56
Know, and he was like, oh, you know, Jerry, he gave me his piece of advice.
00:54:58
And we were on the lily, I mean, there's every walk of life, and he was not evangelical.
00:55:02
He was like a Bible bummer.
00:55:04
It has lived it.
00:55:05
So how do you live it?
00:55:06
Make sure you're getting sleep.
00:55:07
Right?
00:55:07
If you're not sleeping and you're irritated, absolutely, the devil's gonna creep in.
00:55:11
But you shouldn't be drinking because if you don't drink, that one's gonna creep in.
00:55:15
If you don't fit and you're a slave to sugar, that one's gonna creep in.
00:55:19
So all of these things, all your 6 pillars, if you do them, you're simply more aligned to your
00:55:25
divine purpose and you're closer to your creator.
00:55:27
If you don't do them, it's a devil's bug around.
00:55:30
It's that to me, like, it's real simple, man.
00:55:32
Just take an answer.
00:55:33
It's just it's it really gets simple.
00:55:35
Like, I do believe it's virtual warfare.
00:55:37
I absolutely believe in demons.
00:55:38
I believe it held on earth.
00:55:39
Like, we're actually in the devil's playground.
00:55:42
That's why we were liberated from here to the heavens.
00:55:44
Yeah.
00:55:45
And if you give him, he just needs a little bit.
00:55:49
He just needs a little bit.
00:55:51
I think sleep is massively underrated.
00:55:53
Yeah.
00:55:53
And I'm
00:55:54
it's probably my worst pill out of all of them.
00:55:56
Myself's obviously more than anything else.
00:55:59
I think all those things are simply being aligned to you being obedient to god's plan for
00:56:03
you, giving faith entrusting.
00:56:05
You guys I feel different than a diet.
00:56:07
And I don't know how long this diet's gonna work.
00:56:09
I don't like this food.
00:56:10
Sure.
00:56:11
Okay.
00:56:11
Well, Do you want somebody else walking out on you or not?
00:56:14
You know, I also want my daughter walking out on the church.
00:56:17
I wanna have a faith based marriage.
00:56:19
So, yeah, you can walk it out or down, whatever IO it is, you know, but is it is it gonna be a
00:56:25
faith based?
00:56:27
Marriage or not?
00:56:29
Right?
00:56:29
Because I want her father and her heavenly father walking her down this aisle.
00:56:34
And if I'm not around and it is somebody else, I better be her, at least, you know, it's her
00:56:39
heaven, her, you know, her habit.
00:56:39
It's gonna be in front of her heavenly father.
00:56:42
I only need this, like, Oh, it's just the 2.
00:56:44
So we're seeing Mary.
00:56:45
I mean, no, it's not, that's not biblical.
00:56:48
Like, so there's a lot of that now.
00:56:49
I think it's, I think every all six of those pillars are completely put together.
00:56:55
So, like, you living in legacy that out loud to you.
00:56:57
That's a super winded long answer.
00:56:58
That was a good answer.
00:56:59
That was a good answer.
00:57:00
I love that story.
00:57:01
And here's some, like, as we end it, I think some, like, a good thing that everyone could
00:57:06
do.
00:57:07
It's something that I did was I literally wrote out my eulogy and, like, what you want people
00:57:12
to say about you.
00:57:13
Cause I think that really puts it in perspective of, like, when you die, what do you
00:57:16
want people to say about you?
00:57:18
That's really cool what you see in your friend's dad.
00:57:20
Like, four hundred people were in that service, and they were like, nothing but god stories.
00:57:24
Right?
00:57:25
He invested time He was intentional about everything he did, who we talked
00:57:29
with, who we spoke with.
00:57:30
So that's important.
00:57:31
And so, I
00:57:32
appreciate that answer.
00:57:36
A great day.
00:57:37
Bye.
00:57:37
Thank
00:57:37
you so much.
00:57:38
It's me.
00:57:38
Thank you.
00:57:39
Oh, gosh, man.
00:57:40
He clearly hates you.
00:57:41
Okay.
00:57:41
Yes,
00:57:42
man.
00:57:43
Butcher in your name.
00:57:44
You still crossed it.
00:57:45
You so much for coming on the podcast.
00:57:47
I appreciate you.
00:57:48
No problem.
00:57:50
Well, that's a rat, the
00:57:51
full field.
00:57:52
It'll be on limits, baby.